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1000 WTD (brand new homemade logo)

The Brand-New Homemade "1000 Ways to Die" logo. Font: Viking Stencil. Box-Cutting blade (with a sparkle dot at the edge of the blade) for "1", \\' = "Slasher Font" (from "Western International Syndication" logo) for "W", Bloody Skull for "O" and a Stabbed Sword and bloodline for "I". As the sword strikes on the ground, it reveals the homemade logo while the blood comes out of this ground below the sword.

"WARNING: The deaths, which are real and extremely graphic, portrayed in this show are based on tragic scenarios, from movies and make-up deaths."
"Names, which in some episode segments, have been changed to protect the identities of the deceased."
"Do not attempt to try ANY kinds of horrified actions depicted."
"OR ELSE YOU'LL DIE!" (the word "DIE" reverberates ominously).




NOTE: Death segments have never been the same. Also... "*" = These stars have blocked the letters for each bad words.



"1000 Ways to Die" -- Segments 601 - 700

Death # "Event" Name Taken from the episode and segment numbers Circumstances of Death
601 Premature Obituary Death Legend -- Segment 3 In 1940, Marcus Garvey died as a result of two strokes after reading a negative premature obituary of himself.
602 H*** on Hawaii (aka Violent Hawaii) Obsolete Obituaries -- Segment 6 On February 14, 1779, in Kealakekua Bay, Hawaii. As James Cook turned his back to help launch the boats, he was struck on the head by the villagers and then stabbed to death as he fell on his face in the surf. Hawaiian tradition says that he was killed by a chief named Kalanimanokahoowaha or Kanaina. The Hawaiians dragged his body away. Four of the Marines with Cook were also killed and two wounded in the confrontation.
603 Locked in Leopard The Category is Death -- Segment 4 The Leopard of the Central Provinces, also known as the Devilish Cunning Panther, was a man-eating male Indian leopard which over the course of a couple of years, killed over 150 people in the Central Provinces of British India in the early 20th century. The leopard reportedly claimed a victim once every 2-3 days, each time in a different area to the last, with the killings sometimes taking place 20-30 miles apart. The leopard caused such panic that the native communities in its range rarely left their homes alone or unarmed.
604 Mig Madness Wheel of Death -- Segment 2 On June 27, 1980, at Tyrrhenian Sea near Ustica, Italy. According to these sources, the radar shows that one or two Libyan MiG-23 had tried to evade detection by flying close to the airliner. Flight 870 departed 2 hours late. The aircraft (registered I-TIGI) crashed into the Tyrrhenian Sea near the island of Ustica, about 130 km southwest of Naples, at 20:59 CET. All 81 people on board - 2 pilots, 2 flight attendants, and 77 passengers - were all killed.
605 Helicopter Havoc MegaDeath -- Segment 1 On September, 5 2012, in Eastern Afghanistan. A NATO helicopter crashed, killing two troops, the third time in 10 days that a coalition helicopter has come down.
606 Wet Dream Hard Lives, Easy Deaths -- Segment 4 A man who wants to live like a fish constructs a fish suit out of waterbed material and attempts to use it. The suit is so constricting, however, that he cannot get into the water fast enough, and he dies from heat exhaustion.
607 Baseballs of Earthquakes Death Goes On -- Segment 2 On October 17, 1989, in San Francisco, CA. Several baseball players enjoy baseball, when all of a sudden, an earthquake starts. It killed 63 people, including several baseball players.
608 Catch and Decease (aka No Candiru) Putting A Smiley Face On Death -- Segment 2 / Top 100 Deaths -- Segment 45 On June 17, 2008, in The Amazon. A man in the Amazon hires a group of natives to search for gold and abuses them while they are doing so. While swimming in a river nearby from the men, he relieves himself in the river, which attracts a candiru, which enters his p**** and attaches itself to the side of his u******. The man rips the fish out, along with much of the inside of his p****, and is soon eaten alive by piranhas attracted by the escaping blood, much to the amusement of the men he had hired.
609 Jaws of the Dead (aka Shark Attack) Dead Thieves -- Segment 6 On April 25, 2008, in Solana Beach, California. David Roger Martin was killed at approximately 7:20 a.m. while swimming with a group of eight other triathletes off a beach. He was bitten across both thighs.
610 Deep Fried (aka Acid Bath) Death Gets Busy -- Segment 1 On October 26, 1999, in Akron, OH. A metal shop worker with serious anger issues is fired after his co-workers and boss grow tired of the man's outbursts. When he returns to work to get revenge on his boss, the latter shoves the former in self defense into a vat of hydrochloric acid, which eats away at the former employee's flesh and internal organs.
611 Boris Bititoff (aka Raccoon Rage) Up With Death -- Segment 7 On June 9, 1991, in Chernobyl, Ukraine. A zoophilic soldier misses his chance to have s** with his female colleague, so he tries to have s** with a raccoon instead. While trying to get the raccoon to perform fellatio, the raccoon bites his p**** off, and he bleeds to death.
612 Gone Green (aka Pretty Poison Dress) Locked and Low Dead -- Segment 2 On March 26, 2007, in Los Angeles, CA. A rich socialite throws a St. Patrick's Day party and plans to show off the $3,000 antique green dress she shoplifted, which contains Paris Green dye (a poisonous dye containing a chemical common in rat poison). During the raucous party, everyone gets drunk and hurls champagne all over the socialite and her dress. In the morning, while everyone wakes up with severe hangovers, she wakes up to find that she's been dyed green, then vomits green slime and dies of organ failure from the dye seeping into her skin.
613 Vat's All Folks (aka Graveyard Shift) Enter the Ferret -- Segment 5 / Top 100 Deaths -- Segment 91 On June 19, 2001, in Chicago, IL. A cemetery owner digs up his corpses and dissolves them in hydrofluoric acid to make room in the plots and coffins to put them up for resale. After his coworkers refuse to go along with his plan, the cemetery owner decides to do it himself and ends up falling into the acid tub, burning himself to death from the inside out.
614 Dead On Arrival (aka Acid Washed) Death Takes A Vacation -- Segment 5 On November 6, 2002, in San Francisco, CA. A drug smuggler creates a tie-dyed T-shirt soaked in blotter acid so he can avoid detection at the airport. The smuggler gets nervous and begins sweating, causing him to absorb a massive overdose through his skin and suffer a heart attack.
615 Macdeath (aka Peter Pan-Caked) Better Dead Than Us -- Segment 1 On March 16, 1999, in Boise, ID. A retired dot com company millionaire and current narcissistic owner of a theater assigns himself as the lead role in a play he's producing. While doing a flying scene the holster holding him up is unable to hold his weight, causing it to break. The frayed edge of the cord then unwinds and races through the system of pulleys at over 700 miles per hour, passing through the air and slashing the man's jugular vein.
616 Cock-A-Doodle-Die (aka Razored Rooster) Putting a Happy Face on Death -- Segment 2 On May 19, 2007, in Santa Fe, NM. A man cheats in a cock fighting competition by putting razor blades on his rooster's feet. His rooster kills his opponent's rooster almost right away, and his opponent notices the razor blades. He lets the crowd know about it, and they become an angry mob. Just as they are about to attack the cheater, his own rooster's razors slice his jugular vein open and he bleeds to death.
617 USSR-Dead (aka Fools Russian) Putting A Smiley Face On Death -- Segment 5 On October 12, 1989, in Brighton Beach, NY. A Ukrainian immigrant seeking to join the Russian Mafia is asked by two mobsters to beat down several patsy's for not paying their debts. After doing so, the mobsters burn the man's fingertips with sulfuric acid so that he will not leave fingerprints. To celebrate the man joining the mafia, the elderly and senile bartender pours drinks for the mobsters. However, he mistakenly picks up the acid instead of the vodka bottle due to the two bottles and liquid looking exactly alike. None of the men notice until it's too late, and the acid dissolves their tissue and organs, killing them.
618 DWI: Dying While Intoxicated (aka Mow-ing Violation) Today's Special: Death -- Segment 5 On December 9, 2003, in Palm Springs, CA. A drunk divorcee is chosen by her equally drunk and equally divorced friends to go to the liquor store for more drinks, but the woman cannot drive due to an impounded car and a suspended license from a DUI charge. The woman decides to drive a riding mower instead. When she runs through a stop sign, a police officer pursues her. During the slow-speed chase, the woman tries to lose the officer by driving on a lawn. The woman hits a rock and falls off the mower. Too stunned and drunk to react in time, the mower runs the woman down, shredding her in seconds.
619 Sudden Death (aka Football Fanatic Fighters) Death Be a Lady Tonight -- Segment 3 On July 21, 2006, in Emmett, MI. A fantasy football fanatic annoys everyone at a sports bar with his repeated yells at players and shouting out how many points they gained or cost him in his fantasy league. When he tries to change the shown game to another more favorable one, he triggers a bar fight and manages to slip off, only for a piece of a shattered beer mug to fly towards him and pierce through his neck, slicing his jugular vein and carotid artery, causing him to bleed to death within moments.
620 Mudder Sucked (aka Mudsport) Stupid is as Stupid Dies -- Segment 3 / Happy Deathiversary -- Segment 6 On November 21, 2009, in Brentwood, CA. A strict, sadistic pledge master (and military brat) at a sorority bullies her pledges during frosh week. At the end of the week, the pledges are instructed to build a mud wrestling pit for a charity event, but as the pledge master continues to harass them, one of the pledges gets fed up and attacks her. The pledge master proves to be the superior fighter, with the other pledges having to drag their defeated friend out of the pit. But as the pledge master is celebrating her victory, she begins to fall into the sinkhole that was beneath the ring the pledges were building and is sucked into the ground, eventually dying of suffocation from the tons of dirt and mud pressing on her chest (which means asphyxiation).
621 Spyanide Stupid Is As Death Does -- Segment 4 On April 17, 1943, in Norfolk, VA. A treacherous American spy working for the Nazis has a short meeting in a park. After that meeting, an American tries to return his notebook that he left behind. The spy thinks the American returning his notebook is out to get him and takes his own life by swallowing cyanide pills. (This is the first intentional suicide in the series).
622 Brain Worms The Lighter Side of Death -- Segment 2 / Top 100 Deaths -- Segment 18 On December 21, 1978, in San Francisco, CA. A couple eat live snails and ingest "Angiostrongylus cantonensis", parasites that travel through their bloodstreams to their brains, where they feed on their brain matter until the couple dies (with the man telling his girlfriend that he's a closet homos***** just before the two die).
623 Eye Swallow (aka Socket to Me) Stupid Is As Death Does -- Segment 2 On February 14, 2008, in Berkeley, CA. An acrotomophiliac has s** with a woman who lost her arm in a car accident and has a glass eye. The woman puts her eye in a glass with water before continuing. When they are done, she runs to his shower and the man takes a drink from the glass with the eye, and chokes to death (asphyxiates) when he accidentally swallows her glass eye.
624 Sage is Silenced Dead Whisperers -- Segment 1 On July 13, 2012, in Los Angeles, CA. Sage Stallone (Sylvester Stallone's son) was found dead for at least three days up to a week. No one had heard from him in days. While the Los Angeles Police Department said that evidence indicated Stallone's death was accidental, his death certificate cites the cause of death as "deferred", indicating that the official cause of death will not be known until the results of toxicology tests are obtained.
625 Midnight Choker Death Over Easy -- Segment 5 / Death By Request -- Segment 8B On December 18, 2006, in Gary, IN. A man impresses bar patrons by swallowing a billiard ball (the 8-ball in particular) and then bringing it back up. He tries to repeat the trick with a cue ball, but he chokes and asphyxiates on it due to the larger-diameter size of the ball.
626 Boar D'oh (aka Ancaeus Accident) Death Insurance -- Segment 3 A long time ago, Ancaeus summoned the seer before him, and raised a cup of his own wine to his lips, and was ready to taste it for the first time. He then mocked the seer, who said, "There is many a slip between the cup and the lip". Before Ancaeus had tasted the wine, an alarm was raised that a wild boar was ravaging the vineyard, and on hearing this, Ancaeus dropped the cup and went out to investigate – and was promptly killed by the boar.
627 Garry New-Hate Caught by a Deathtrap -- Segment 4 On August 10, 2007, in Warrington, Cheshire. Garry Newlove, who was an English man, was attacked outside his house, having gone outside to confront a gang of youths who were vandalising his Renault Scenic car. He died in hospital two days later.
628 M*A*S*H'ed (aka Army Attack) Ultimate Sacrifices -- Segment 4 In August 2012 in Afghanistan since the war began. U.S. troop deaths in Afghanistan surpassed the 2000 mark with at least 38 soldiers have been killed.
629 S** Ray (aka X-Ray Attack) Death Gets Busy -- Segment 6 / Top 100 Deaths -- Segment 2 On March 12, 2001, in Jackson, MI. A man is having an x-ray of his head taken when the doctor and nurse begin falling in love in the control room. They accidentally hit the exposure button repeatedly while falling in love, eventually giving the patient a lethal dose of radiation.
630 Ex'D Ex (aka Haunted Prey Ride) Dirt Nap -- Segment 6 On March 27, 2001, in Sleepy Hollow, NY. A couple on a hayride are stalked by the female's former boyfriend. When he surprises them by popping out dressed as an axe murderer, the current boyfriend knocks him off the cart. He falls to the ground, and the wheels crush his lungs and intestines, causing his death from being run over in half.
631 Sun Burnt (aka Laser's Edge) Locked and Low Dead -- Segment 7 On November 11, 2009, in El Segundo, CA. A sociopathic geek creates a concentrated death ray by covering a parabolic dish with tin foil. When he places it out in the sun to experiment, he successfully burns insects, tricks his apartment neighbor into putting his hand in the ray's path, and attempts to heat a can of beans. When the can explodes, the force knocks the geek out, and he falls forward into the path of the heat beam, which burns his skull and melts his brain.
632 Pursuit your Dress, B****! (aka Woman's Pursuit) Death in the Machine -- Segment 6 Three people cut off the nose of a woman (who soon dies) in Pakistan's Punjab province for pursuing a criminal case against them. The incident occurred on August 15, 2012 in Faisalabad district, 100 km from Lahore, the provincial capital. Ruqqaya Bibi was returning home with her husban Ghulam Qamar after meeting her sister at Mehr Town when three men overpowered them and severely tortured them. They also cut off Ruqqaya's nose and Ruqqaya shall soon die.
633 Metal Bar Bash The Amazing World of Death -- Segment 6 A male voyeur tries to stalking a naked lady in the house, when all of a sudden the people use a metal bar that killed a male voyeur to death.
634 Shop Till You Drown (aka Drown And Out) Death Legend -- Segment 4 On February 9, 2004, in Corpus Christi, TX. A woman selling fake designer clothes to a client for high prices is thrown out by her client's husband (who hates his wife's personal shopper friend because his wife keeps spending money on her, and the husband lost most of his money to the current economic downturn). As she leaves, she falls into the couple's swimming pool, gets tangled in its cover, and drowns.
635 Suleiman Strikes Seconds from Death -- Segment 1 On September 5 - 6, 1566, Suleiman the Magnificent, who had set out from Constantinople to command an expedition to Hungary, died before an Ottoman victory at the Battle of Szigetvár in Hungary.
636 Benjamin G. Thrill Time for Death -- Segment 5 On December 14, 1920, Mexico City, Mexico. After his appointment, Benjamín G. Hill, who was a military commander during the Mexican Revolution, died in suspicious circumstances after attending a luncheon; poisoning, at the hands of an Interior Secretary Plutarco named Elías Calles, has often been suspected.
637 Sinned Stoners Death in the Machine -- Segment 2 A long time ago, in Eurpoe. An Italian statesman suspects his wife died one of the woman's lovers came up with a plan to slip off the chastity belt by soaking her in a tub of oil and water. Now, an Italian statesman found one of the woman's lovers (and some other man fall in love with a dead statesman's wife), who shall sentenced to death by stoning. Some of the woman's lovers is killed by an Italian statesman when a stone hits him in the head and cracks his skull.
638 Oz H***d (aka Oz Gone Wild) Cure for the Common Death, Part I -- Segment 5 On August 19, 2001, in San Dimas, CA. Two teenagers obsessed with rock legend Ozzy Osbourne snort fire ants in celebration of Ozzfest, believing an urban legend that Osbourne had supposedly done the same with fellow rocker Nikki Sixx. The ants immediately latch onto their nasal passages and trachea and proceed to bite and sting them repeatedly, causing swelling and eventual suffocation.
639 Lightning on Phone Endless Deaths -- Segment 1 During a severe thunderstorm, an angry, endless caller refuses to believe about a weatherman warns everyone about danergous lightning on indoor telephones and plumbings. While an angry, endless caller uses the telephone and does the indoor plumbing, a ligtning strikes on a wire that connetcs to a telephone and attracts a metal plumbing and kills an angry, endless caller, which means he's got electrocuted.
640 Tumble Die Life Will Kill You -- Segment 6 A repairman is accidentally trapped inside an industrial clothes dryer and dies of being battered around and excess heat within minutes causing hyperthermia.
641 Gored by Goat (aka Non-Stop Goat) Swimming with Death -- Segment 6 In 2010, at Olympic National Park. Robert Boardman was gored to death by a mountain goat.
642 Bull-Heavia (aka Bleader) Deadliest Kitsch -- Segment 1 On March 24, 2010, at Somewhere in the Middle East. The dictator of an unnamed Middle Eastern country regularly videotapes speeches blaming the United States of America for the country's poverty and political unrest and promising that the U.S. will pay for its decadent ways. In private, however, the dictator is obsessed with America, often dressing up as a cowboy in a private room filled with American memorabilia and a table with a model replica of Washington, D.C. After installing a new mechanical bull in his room, he goes to ride it, but his subordinate doesn't know how to make it go faster and ends up throwing the leader from the bull and onto his Washington, D.C. model., where the Washington Monument statue impales him right in the heart.
643 Amity-Villain (aka The Amityville Horror) Death Legend -- Segment 6 On November 13, 1974, in Long Island, New York. Ronald DeFeo, Jr. murdered his own family with a .35 caliber lever action Marlin 336C rifle in Amityville. A year later, On November 21, 1975, DeFeo was found guilty on six counts of second-degree murder. On December 4, 1975, Judge Thomas Stark sentenced Ronald DeFeo, Jr. to six concurrent sentences of 25 years to life. Based on Amityville True Story.
644 Teller She's Dead (aka Violent Alarm) Wild Wild Death -- Segment 1 On December 9, 2005, in Atlanta, GA. A bank teller and her friend carry out an inside-job bank robbery, with the friend "forcing" the teller to open the vault and then locking her inside. When the friend sets off the fire alarm on her way out, it triggers a carbon dioxide extinguisher system in the vault, and the teller is suffocated to death, which means asphyxiated.
645 Amish-Tinguished (aka Jebe-Die-Ah) Dying to Tell the Story -- Segment 2 On October 31, 2005, in Philadelphia, PA. An Amish boy sent to the city as part of Rumspringa is coaxed into a Halloween party by guests who think the Amish boy's look is a costume. The boy is coaxed into a few drinks and becomes the life of the party, until he collapses and dies, unaware that he was born without an enzyme that aids in breaking down alcohol.
646 Scarf-Face (aka Skinny Boned) That's "Mister Death" To You -- Segment 3 On January 11, 2009, at the Pakistani Border. A terrorist attempting to escape from prison abstains from eating for weeks until he is thin enough to slip through the bars of his cell door. After escaping, he gorges at a feast, and dies from refeeding syndrome.
647 Cootie Coyotes (aka Crazy Coyotes) Rate Your Death -- Segment 4 A Canadian folk-singer has been killed by a pack of coyotes while hiking in Nova Scotia. A singer-songwriter from Toronto was set upon as she walked alone in the Cape Breton Highlands national park and died of bite wounds in hospital. Based on a tragic story from Taylor Mitchell.
648 River's Rage How Much for Death? -- Segment 4 On July 31, 2012, in Modesto, CA. A 41-year-old mamed Sausalito woman died on the start of a three-day rafting trip with her husband when they hit unexpectedly fast rapids on Tuolumne River.
649 Gamma Ray Blast MegaDeath -- Segment 3 A man avenges his wife, who died from vomit drowning and killed by a burglar, by using an experimental laser gun as the gamma rays from the gun succeed in causing thermal damage on a molecular level to the burglar's brain.
650 Car-Tastrophe The Amazing World of Death -- Segment 5 On August 31, 1997, in Paris, France. Diana, the Princess of Wales, was fatally injured in a car crash in the Pont de l'Alma road tunnel in Paris, which also caused the deaths of her companion Dodi Fayed and the driver, Henri Paul, acting security manager of the Hôtel Ritz Paris. Millions of people watched her funeral.
651 Trampoline in the Desert Death Mysteries -- Segment 7 A trampoline jumper, who's in the desert, jumps on the trampoline until he got killed in a freak accident after hitting a tower of desert rocks, what shall avalanche a trampoline jumper to death. Based on Ty Thomasson's tragic story.
652 Botoxicated Death Gets Busy -- Segment 4 On August 16, 1998, in Carbondale, IL. A woman desperate to get rid of her wrinkles hires an inexperienced doctor to administer Botox in her home. The man unknowingly injects pure botulinum toxin into her face, resulting in intense pain and paralysis. While lying in a hot tub trying to relax, the woman's entire body becomes paralyzed and she slips underwater and drowns.
653 Chris Rucked-Up World's Wildest Death Videos -- Segment 5 A black man, who looks like Chris Rock, getting into a fight with his white arch-nemesis, who looks like Joey Caruso. Now, a black man uses a gun to shots his white arch-nemesis to death, but unfortunately, a black man ends up getting arrested by the cops and his family banished a black man from Brooklyn and never returned. It's a rip-off of "Everybody Hates Chris" show.
654 Brittany Morphine (aka The Brittany Murphy Story) Law & Death -- Segment 5 On December 20, 2009, at the Los Angeles Fire Department. At the Los Angeles home, Brittany Murphy and Simon Monjack shared. She had apparently collapsed in a bathroom. Firefighters attempted to resuscitate Murphy on the scene. She was transported to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, where she was pronounced dead on arrival after going into cardiac arrest. An autopsy was performed the next day. Her death certificate listed the cause of death as "deferred". On February 4, 2010, the Los Angeles County coroner stated that the primary cause of Murphy's death was pneumonia, with secondary factors of iron-deficiency anemia and multiple drug intoxication.
655 Two Stoopid Gratefully Dead -- Segment 6 On March 15, 2005, in Portland, ME. A man attempts to create a new "sport" by tying a mattress to his friend's truck and holding on to it. The rope holding the mattress comes loose and the man falls off the truck at a fast speed, hitting the desert ground and breaking most of his ribs. Meanwhile, in Reno, NV. A man attempts to bungee jump off a cherry picker. However the rope he's using is too long and he smacks the pavement below him and breaks his ribs.
656 Phlegm Phatale (aka Neti Say Goodbye) Death, The Final Frontier -- Segment 7 On November 17, 2007, in Elmira, NY. A couple are on their first date after meeting over the Internet. The male is a complete germaphobe, spraying everything with disinfectant and even using a neti pot to cleanse his sinuses before meeting the woman. However, by using contaminated water in the pot, he contracts a Naegleria fowleri infection that attacks his brain and kills him.
657 Dead Heat (aka Asthmatic Spices) Bringing In The Dead -- Segment 5 On February 25, 1998, in Syracuse, NY. A woman is cooking for her new boyfriend and forces him to smell some exotic, imported spices, not knowing that he has asthma. The asthmatic's inhaler soon runs out of medicine, and he dies of a massive asthma attack.
658 Engulfed Explosions Obsolete Obituaries -- Segment 7 On September 5, 2012, at Chennai Airport. At least 30 people were killed and more than 50 injured as flames engulfed a fireworks factory after an explosion in Sivakasi in Tamil Nadu.
659 Ramstein Air Mess How Much for Death? -- Segment 2 The Ramstein air show disaster is the second-deadliest air show incident (following that in 2002 at Sknyliv). It took place in front of about 300,000 people on August 28, 1988, in Ramstein, West Germany, near the city of Kaiserslautern at the US Ramstein Air Base airshow Flugtag '88. Aircraft of the Italian Air Force display team collided during their display, crashing to the ground. 67 spectators and 3 pilots died, 346 spectators sustained serious injuries in the resulting explosion and fire.
660 Toxic Cloudburst MegaDeath -- Segment 4 Some 1,700 people living in the valley below Lake Nyos in northwestern Cameroon mysteriously died on the evening of August 26, 1986. Word of the disaster spread, and scientists arrived from around the world. What they discovered was that the crater lake, perched inside a dormant volcano, had become laden with carbon dioxide gas. This gas had suddenly bubbled out of the lake and asphyxiated nearly every living being in the surrounding valley community.
661 No Fun-Gus (aka Mushroom Capped) Death, The Final Frontier -- Segment 2 On October 5, 2005, in St. Louis, MO. A man brings his alcoholic wife to a sobriety party. She humiliates herself, devours several homemade pizzas, pours liquor into the punch bowl, and guzzles the mixture. The woman dies from a reaction caused by the alcohol she drank and the ink cap mushrooms that were on the pizzas.
662 Phone Boned (aka Phone Possession) Waking Up Dead -- Segment 1 On May 10, 2005, in Kaisertown, NY. A woman goes to an acupuncturist to cure her addiction to texting. While lying on her back during the treatment, the woman's cell phone begins to receive multiple texts. She tries to reach for it, but ends up falling to the floor face-down. An acupuncture needle that was on the woman's chest stabs her in the heart, killing her instantly.
663 OMG! You Killed Kennedy! (aka J.F.K.O.) Death of Vengeance -- Segment 5 On November 22, 1963, in Dallas Texas. The 35th President of the United States, John F. Kennedy was assassinated while on a political trip to Texas. He was hereby rush to hospital, where he pronounced dead.
664 Bladder Banquet (aka Danish Dinner) Dead Again -- Segment 2 In the year 1601 AD. Tycho Brahe, Danish astronomer, according to legend, died of complications resulting from a strained bladder at a banquet. As it was considered extremely bad etiquette to leave the table before the meal was finished, he stayed until he became fatally ill. This version of events has since been brought into question as other causes of death (murder by Johannes Kepler, suicide, and mercury poisoning among others) have come to the fore.
665 Birds of Prey Death Goes On -- Segment 5 In Bodega Bay, California. A lady purchases a pair of lovebirds and reaches a gentleman's house by sneaking across the small harbor in a motor boat, leaving the birds and a note. As she is heading back across the bay, a seagull swoops down and inflicts a cut on her head. Based on Alfred Hitchcock's film "The Birds" (1963).
666 Passion of the Christ (aka Savior of Sacrifice) Death: A New Beginning -- Segment 2 In the 1st century AD. Jesus, who Christians believe is the Son of God as well as the Messiah, was arrested, tried, and sentenced by Pontius Pilate to be scourged, and finally executed on a cross and was suffering and death by crucifixion represent the central aspects of Christian theology, including the doctrines of salvation and atonement.
667 The London Beer Flood Fear of Death -- Segment 6 In 1814, London Beer Flood, seven people were killed (some drowned, some died from injuries, and one succumbed to alcohol poisoning) when 323,000 imperial gallons (388,000 US gal; 1,468,000 L) of beer in the Meux and Company Brewery burst out of its vats and gushed into the streets.
668 James Tearing Roasted Death is Due -- Segment 2 On January 10, 1986, in Columbia, SC. James Terry Roach, who did horrible things to those two teenagers, was setenced to death on the electric chair at the Central Correctional Institution.
669 Nagar Nowhere Tales from the Dead -- Segment 1 Umesh Chandra was assassinated on September 4, 1999 when his car stopped at a traffic light. Four naxalites opened fire on him, his driver and his gunman. His driver and gunman were shot at point blank range and died instantly. On that day he did not carry his weapon. While chasing a couple of the naxalites, the naxalites sensed that he did not carry a weapon and turned back and fired at him twice. He collapsed on the road, at which point they shot him point blank. His statue was unveiled a year later at Sanjiva Reddy Nagar Cross Roads, Hyderabad.
670 William A. Fake Cure for the Common Death, Part VI -- Segment 7 On May 31, 2010, in Los Angeles, CA. William A. Fraker, ASC/BSC, who was a cinematographer, film director, and producer, died at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles after lost a battle with cancer.
671 B**bicide (aka Stripteased) Ready Or Not, Here Comes Death -- Segment 4 On February 27, 2000, in Hoboken, NJ. A vain stripper suffering from back problems from her polypropylene breast implants takes oxycodone and alcohol to relieve her pain. She then climbs into a reclining rack and flips herself upside-down to further relax her back. The stripper suffocates (asphyxiates) from her breasts falling on her face and being too intoxicated to react or right herself in time.
672 E****o-Phobia (aka Arachnophobia Attack) Stupid is as Stupid Dies -- Segment 5 On June 9, 2007, in Washington D.C. A man cheating on his girlfriend gets bitten by a Brazilian wandering spider while getting some bananas out of her grocery bag. The spider's venom causes his blood vessels to dilate, resulting in a permanent e****ion. After having s** with two other women, the venom causes him to have a heart attack.
673 R.I.P.-PED (aka Juiced) Today's Menu: Deep Fried Death -- Segment 4 / Top 100 Deaths -- Segment 57 On October 3, 2004, in Tarzana, CA. A 70-year-old man obsessed with body building relies on not only his exercise equipment, but his juicer to build and maintain his muscles. After years of overworking his juicer, the juicer stops, overheats, and explodes, sending the juicer's blade into his carotid artery.
674 Kill** (aka Cursed Carrot) Unforced Errors -- Segment 6 / Top 100 Deaths -- Segment 9 On January 31, 2004, in Roanoke, VA. While eyeing a handsome grocery store clerk, a woman gets the idea to use a peeled carrot as a d**** during her nightly m*********** session. While using the carrot during her session, a rough cut slices her v****** wall, letting air into her circulatory system. An air bubble travels to her heart, blocking her blood flow, and the woman dies from an air embolism.
675 Italian Bleeding Caught by a Deathtrap -- Segment 5 Though Sulla was the first to make arsenic poisoning illegal, another group of Italians will forever be remembered for their rampant arsenic use to consolidate power and become rich. The Borgias, led by Cesare Borgia and his father Pope Alexander VI, assassinated numerous wealthy cardinals and popes and, by church law, received the deceased's holdings and money. They used these practices to become some of the richest men in all of Italy, until they themselves succumbed to the poison and died from internal bleeding.
676 Reverse Cowgirl (aka Stuck on a Toilet) Death is Due -- Segment 3 Clyde Donovan, unintentionally leaves the toilet seat up, causing his mother, Betsy Donovan, to falls into the toilet, causing a suction that rips out her organs, killing her. As for Clyde, he was banished from South Park forever, and never return. It's a rip-off of a "South Park" episode.
677 Boweled Out (aka Swing Away) Ready Or Not, Here Comes Death -- Segment 5 On June 13, 2005, in Youngstown, OH. A softball player's abdominal hernia flares up during a game, so he pushes it back into place and keeps playing, not realizing that he has ruptured a nearby artery. On his next swing, the hernia erupts again and he dies from internal bleeding.
678 Ariva-Deadci (aka Crying Over Spilled Guts) Dead Before They Know It -- Segment 5 On September 8, 2008, in Rochester, NY. A mobster on parole is granted permission to be on a work release program, but slacks off and orders his co-workers to do his work for him. When his parole officer visits him, the mobster tricks her into thinking that he is doing as he's told and moves a dumpster. However, he gets distracted when he sees his co-worker talking to his parole officer about his job performance and forgets to lock the wheels on the dumpster, which ends up rolling down the hill and pinning him against a second dumpster. The mobster is killed when the sharp end of the first dumpster punctures his abdomen and extrudes his intestines from his body.
679 Which B**** is Witch? (aka World of Witchcraft) Death Goes On -- Segment 1 A long time ago. The witches make a terrible witch craft, but the mob caught the witches, who shall be setenced to death by burning at the stake on the woods of fire.
680 Pretty Fly for a Dead Guy (aka Lord of the Flies) Tweets From the Dead -- Segment 1 On March 5, 2010, in Old Lyme, CT. A nerdy man with an extreme hatred for bugs covers a wall of his home with homemade flypaper coated with cyanoacrylate. When swatting a mosquito, he falls onto the wall and gets stuck. After a few days, the man soils himself from loss of bladder and bowel control, dies from dehydration and starvation in another couple of days, and is turned into a buffet for all the bugs he collected for torture.
681 Amanda's After-shocker How Much for Death? -- Segment 3 On February 22, 2011, Amanda Jane Hooper, who was a female professional field hockey player from New Zealand, has been killed during the February 2011 Christchurch earthquake.
682 Elephant Extravaganza A One Way Trip to Death -- Segment 3 On August 20, 1994, in Honolulu, HI. Allen Campbell, who was a zookeeper and elephant trainer and handler in his hometown, has crushed to death at the Neal Blaisdell Center after attempting to save fellow co-worker Dallas Beckwith from the performing elephant "Tyke", who had run amok.
683 Terror Tom (aka The Tom Ketchum Story) In the Name of Death -- Segment 2 On April 26, 1901, in Union Count, NM. Tom Ketchum, who was known as Black Jack, was a cowboy who later turned to a life of crime as he has attempted train robbery until he was sentenced to death in executed by hanging in Clayton, New Mexico, as Tom Ketchum was decapitated when he dropped through the trap door.
684 Bush Whacked 5: Ivy Poisoned (aka Poison Ivy) Possessed by Death -- Segment 2 A scam artist man thinks the oil on the leaves is easily transferred to clothing and skin by just brushing against the plant after he touches the poison ivy, because it is really sensitive so avoid it real carefully even if he touches it, he can get it on himself and also, her lips are filled with poison, so if she kisses him, he'll die.
685 Foster Fenced How Much for Death? -- Segment 1 On March 4, 1991, at the Foster Chapel Cemetery. A teenage girl has been r***d and badly beaten near a fence in the cemetery, presumably by an abductor named Marvin Lee Smith, Jr., who was sentenced to 30 years to life in prison. Based on a tragic story of Jessica Lyn Keen.
686 Carbuncle Catastrophe Dead Games -- Segment 6 On June 29, 1933, in New York City, NY. Roscoe Arbuckle, who was an American silent film actor, comedian, director, and screenwriter, suffered a heart attack later that night and died in his sleep.
687 Orcanized Obliteration (aka Orca Attacks) A One Way Trip to Death -- Segment 1 On December 24, 2009, Alexis Martínez died during a rehearsal for a Christmas Day show at the Loro Parque Park in Spain. A male orca, Keto, who was born at SeaWorld Orlando Florida, reportedly rammed Martínez in the chest, rendering him unconscious. Martinez supposedly drowned before fellow trainers could rescue a dead person.
688 S***-Land Oil Spill (aka Oil Spill Mess) Wheel of Death -- Segment 3 On January 31, 2009, in Molo, Kenya. An oil spill ignition occurred and resulted in the deaths of at least 113 people and critical injuries to over 200 more.
689 Wine And Die (aka Dyin' Wine) Death – Putting The "Fun" In "Funeral" -- Segment 4 On October 1, 2002, in Napa Valley, CA. A nerdy, virgin college student takes a female foreign-exchange student from Sweden to a vineyard for a wine tasting, only to find it closed for the off-season. Having brought their own wine, they get drunk and climb into a fermentation vat to make out. Both of them soon asphyxiate due to the carbon dioxide emitted by the fermenting grapes.
690 Terror in the Theatre Dead Whisperers -- Segment 2 On July 20, 2012, in Aurora, CO. At a Century movie theater during a midnight screening of the film "The Dark Knight Rises" (2012). A gunman opening fire in a Colorado movie theater during a midnight screening of the film. Twelve people have been killed while over 30 were injured.
691 Dominican Deliquence Dead Thieves -- Segment 4 On Tuesday, May 30, 1961, in Dominican Republic. Rafael Trujillo was shot and killed when his car was ambushed on a road outside the Dominican capital.
692 Gone Fission (aka WWM'D) Sudden Death -- Segment 5 On November 11, 2009, in Yemen. As two would-be terrorists construct a plutonium nuclear bomb, one of them accidentally drops a tungsten carbide brick on the radioactive core (due to a burp after eating a burger), causing a massive surge of radiation. The surge destroys their immune systems and both men are overcome with extreme nausea and become bedridden, eventually dying of bacterial pneumonia and asphyxiation as their lungs fill with fluid.
693 Hot Blooded Law & Death -- Segment 1 It’s extremely terrible that a video game addict man has to throw splash on his female rivalry opponent with hot water from a picther as she screams out loud and fell off the window and drops dead.
694 Anita Clobbered In the Name of Death -- Segment 1 On February 2, 1986, in Prospect, New South Wales. An Australian registered nurse and beauty pageant winner named Anita Cobby has been abducted and murdered by five criminal gangsters, who got arrested by the police and were sentenced in the Supreme Court of New South Wales to life imprisonment (without parole) plus additional time, never to be released.
695 Nicholas Immigrant Gruesome Greedy -- Segment 6 On February 12, 1907, in Sawtelle, CA. Nicholas Porter Earp, who was an immigrant, has elected to the Los Angeles County court, when all of a sudden, he died of a massive heart attack.
696 Nancy Cricked A One Way Trip to Death -- Segment 7 On May 21, 2002, Nancy Crick was an Australian woman who committed suicide by drinking a solution of Nembutal, while surrounded by 21 voluntary euthanasia supporters and family. She was supported in her decision by euthanasia activist Dr. Philip Nitschke. Her death became highly politicised after her autopsy results were leaked to the media. This was because the autopsy showed that at that the time of her death, she was 'cancer free' but had an inoperable bowel condition that may have been the cause of her suicide-inducing pain.
697 Avis Avid Gruesome Greedy -- Segment 1 On the night of November 29, 2006, Avis Banks, a daycare worker, was found shot and stabbed to death in the garage of her Ridgeland, Mississippi home. Her body was discovered by her fiance Keyon Pittman, and it appeared as if the perpetrator had kicked in their back door. After discovering the body, Keyon called his co-worker Carla Hughes, who got arrested by the police. About three months later, the judge sentenced Carla Hughes to life in prison with paroleless (no parole).
698 Lemon Meets Head Cure for the Common Death, Part V -- Segment 7 A lady squeezes a lemon as it juices on a man's face, because lemon juice is acid, so a man is blind because of a lemon acid and walks off the tallest building and falls off to his death.
699 Burning Down the House Death Behind Bars -- Segment 5 In 1978, several fires in U.S. killed 6,015 people in several house fires.
700 This Just In...My Chest (aka Breaking News) Grave Decisions -- Segment 6 On August 26, 2004, in Port Charlotte, FL. A local news reporter obsessed with his self-image gets the opportunity to look brave and become famous on a national scale by covering a local hurricane. While attempting to cover the story, he is struck and impaled by a mailbox post that has broken loose in the high winds.

Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spke.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.

JamesTherHAMPMaster 20:19, November 20, 2012 (UTC)

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