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Top 100 Deaths

"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 100.

Note: As of the 100th episode, these numbers in parentheses are counting down from 100 to 1 about these best death segments.

Extinguished

(100)

Taken from: Death – Putting The "Fun" In "Funeral"

On December 12, 2006, in Asheville, NC. A bitter ex-jock, whose college prospects were ruined by failed drug tests, now plays dodgeball at a community center. After one aggressive victory against a group of nerds (all of which are heads of Internet companies that are making more money than the jock ever will), he yells at his teammates and tries to spray them with an old, improperly maintained fire extinguisher. The container explodes and the handle lodges in his chest, destroying his heart.

Alt names - Dodgeball Extinguished

Her Own Damn Fault!!!

(99)

Taken from: Death Takes A Vacation

On July 27, 2004, in Chatsworth, CA. A lecherous wife invites her husband's boss and his boss's wife for a game of tennis. When the woman publicly tries to seduce the boss, his wife serves a ball that hits her in the head, stunning her. She stumbles against the hand crank used to tighten the net, releasing it so that it strikes her in the head. The blow leads to her death from a skull fracture and swelling of her brain.

Alt names - Game Set Splat

Lazy Bumday

(98)

Taken from: Locked and Low Dead

On January 5, 2001, in Homestead, FL. A lazy, overweight scammer who has been confined to a wheelchair from his ankles breaking pretends to be a crippled Gulf War veteran for money. After coming home to his slovenly house from his latest con, the man begins itching violently and discovers several maggots feasting on his infected bedsores. As the man freaks out, he collapses and dies —- not from the maggots eating him alive, but from massive heart failure caused by years of poor dieting and no exercise.

Alt names - Dirty Rotting Scoundrel

Cat Fight On A Hot Tin Hood

(97)

Taken from: Grave Decisions

On August 9, 2001, in Walla Walla, WA. An overly aggressive driver gets her parking spot stolen. When she gets in a fight with the other driver, she falls on top of the hood ornament of the car, lacerating her stomach.

Alt names - Parking Fighters

Colon-Gross-Opy

(96)

Taken from: Dirt Nap

On August 18, 1995, in Denville, NJ. A girl with a very high competitive streak holds various contests with her two male roommates. To prepare for a farting contest, she decides to cheat by squirting a can of whipped cream up her rectum to produce gas. However, the nitrous oxide gas from the can causes quick freezing and immediate necrosis of her intestinal tissue, resulting in swelling. Before She bleed to death, she farts out her blood and dies of hemorrhage.

Alt names - Colon Gross

Dough!!!

(95)

Taken from: Wild Wild Death

On November 9, 2004, in Rapid City, SD. A lecherous bakery supervisor who sexually harasses his female employees challenges one of them to swallow a spoonful of ground cinnamon in order to get out of going on a date with him. She chokes on the powder and coughs it into his face, and he falls over so that his tie gets caught in a running dough mixer. His head is pulled in and the machine's blades inflict lethal skull fractures.

Alt names - Cinnamon And Spice

Premature Endings

(94)

Taken from: Sor-Dead Affair

On March 13, 2011, at Sharon Levy Memorial Hospital. At a hospital filled with patients who are dead or near death from injuries and illnesses caused by their own stupidity or ignorance of conditions they never knew they had, a woman walks by the chaos to visit her elderly father (described as beloved, hard-working, and faithful to his family and friends) in hospice care, who dies peacefully in his sleep of old age with his daughter at his side.

Alt names - Long Goodbye

Down With The Clown

(93)

Taken from: Deadliest Kitsch

On July 23, 2008, in Los Angeles, CA. A birthday party clown stalks a horror-core hip-hop band called "Infernal Clown Posse" (played by real-life clown-music group Insane Clown Posse) with hate mail and plans to sabotage one of their concerts. The clown rushes to the front row, but is knocked unconscious when one of the group members hits him in the head with a soda pop bottle. After regaining consciousness a short time later, the clown becomes enraged, runs backstage and goes to unplug their speakers. The clown, still drenched in soda, which contains a high concentration of salt, is electrocuted to death. (NOTE: This death features the song "In Yo Face" performed by ICP.)

Alt names - Insane Clown Posse

Spit-Ill

(92)

Taken from: Die-abestic

On July 4, 2007, in Marietta, GA. A southern belle working a kissing booth for charity at a carnival is stealing the money from the jar. When her high school crush walks up to the booth, she is more than willing to make out with him. However, he had been chewing sunflower seeds, and the belle had an allergic reaction to the sunflower seed oil and died of anaphylactic shock.

Alt names - Sloppy Seconds

Vat's All Folks

(91)

Taken from: Enter the Ferret

On June 19, 2001, in Chicago, IL. A cemetery owner digs up his corpses and dissolves them in hydrofluoric acid to make room in the plots and coffins to put them up for resale. After his coworkers refuse to go along with his plan, the cemetery owner decides to do it himself and ends up falling into the acid tub, burning himself to death from the inside out.

Alt names - Graveyard Shift

Pain Saw

(90)

Taken from: Death, The Final Frontier

On May 28, 2003, in Pratt, KS. A man tries to get the attention of his attractive neighbor by tying a rope to his chainsaw and swinging it over his head. The rope gets tangled and pulls the chainsaw into his neck, partially beheading him, but bleeding him out enough to die of shock.

Alt names - Unchained Malady

Chili Today... Dead Tomorrow

(89)

Taken from: Crying Over Spilled Blood

On October 4, 2007, in Pyramid Lake Reservation, NV. At a Native American gift shop, an idiotic tourist helps himself to a basket of hot peppers, not realizing that they are intensely hot ghost chili peppers. He fumbles in the refrigerator for a drink, but gulps down a jar of snake venom (that the shopkeeper had saved for a university professor) by mistake. The venom enters his bloodstream through sores in his mouth, caused by eating the peppers, poisoning and eventually killing him.

Alt names - Snake-Chug

Killer Tan

(88)

Taken from: It's a Dead, Dead, Dead World

On August 15, 2009, in Ocean City, NJ. Two tanning-obsessed guidos use large amounts of DHA for an instant tan. After spraying themselves by hand, they climb into a stand-up spray tanning booth and light a cigarette. The spark from the lighter ignites the DHA fumes in the booth, causing an explosion that kills them.

Alt names - Jersey Score

Heim-Licked

(87)

Taken from: Death Certificates

On June 16, 2010, in Orlando, FL. A fitness camp instructor partial to attractive women tries to intimidate an overweight client and make her quit. When she finally leaves in frustration, he mockingly eats some of the junk food she leaves behind but begins to choke. He tries to bounce on a yoga ball to perform a Heimlich maneuver, but then falls on a lawn sprinkler and impales himself through the mouth and breaks his neck.

Alt names - Boot Camp

Mastur-Bitten

(86)

Taken from: A New App Called Death

On March 15, 2009, in Lamy, NM. A scam artist posing as a state health inspector targets a sleazy motel. Using his own semen from a furious masturbation session, the scam artist is able to extort some money as well as blackmail the motel owner into staying the night at the hotel for free by revealing the semen stains with an ultraviolet light. While sleeping on the bed he soiled, some Arizona Bark Scorpions crawl on the man's bed and sting him to death.

Alt names - Black Light Scorpions

Teri-Yucky

(85)

Taken from: Death Penalties

On October 5, 2006, in Bremerton, WA. A master chef at a Benihana-style Japanese grill restaurant owns a set of precious knives. One night, the busboy of the restaurant steals the knives to role-play as the chef. When he throws one of them high in the air, he manages to catch it, but it severs a support rope holding up a giant Buddha head decoration. The decoration slams into the busboy and causes him to face plant into the hot grill, which scorches his face and kills him from fatal burns.

Alt names - Burning Japanese

Nine Inch Nailed

(84)

Taken from: Star Death: The Last Generation

On April 10, 1999, in Tacoma, WA. Three men hired to clean a local dump waste time by rolling in a tire down a hill with a wooden ramp. The first man passes the ramp, but when the second man rolls down, the ramp collapses and exposes two nine-inch framing nails from the ramp, which puncture through the tire and sever his spinal cord, causing neurogenic shock.

Alt names - R & RIP

Hi-Jack Offed

(83)

Taken from: Tweets From the Dead

On June 16, 2010, in Orlando, FL. A hijacker looking to hijack a car hitchhikes on the road. When a truck driver and his boss, a former female boxer, stop to help him, he pulls out a gun. Threatening to shoot them, the hitchhiker forces them out of the truck. The unscared woman punches him and he falls backward into the air brake hose, which enters his rectum, pumping him up with air and causing him to explode.

Alt names - Balloon Blowout

Bowled Over

(82)

Taken from: Think Globally, Die Locally

On January 23, 2008, in East L.A.. A group of drunk hipster filmmakers are out one day recording themselves on a high-speed camera in the hopes of creating popular viral videos, when one gets the idea to film things being dropped from 80 ft. above them. With the cameraman on the ground, they first drop a watermelon, then and old TV. But when they drop a bowling ball, it shatters, sending a large shard in through the eye of the cameraman. The shard severs his medulla oblongata, resulting in massive bleeding, and he dies of exsanguination and organ failure.

Alt names - Exploding Bowling Ball

Double-O-Severed

(81)

Taken from: Getting A Rise From The Dead

On May 6, 2007, in New York, NY. A spy committing corporate espionage climbs down a hotel's air duct to install a listening device outside the room which an important meeting is to take place there. His assistant nephew accidentally turns on the duct's fan, which catches the spy's rope and winds it up. He bleeds to death when the fan blades sever his legs.

Alt names - I Spy A Spy's Eye

Dill D'oh!

(80)

Taken from: Ready Or Not, Here Comes Death

On December 5, 2006, in Kansas City, MO. A retired chemistry teacher who was sent to a nursing home by his greedy children who had him declared incapable of caring for himself just so they could get his money does demonstrations for the other residents (despite being reprimanded by a mean-spirited nursing home aide), including one in which he uses a pickle to form a crude light. When the mean nursing home aide grabs the equipment to confiscate it, he completes a circuit that sends an electric shock through his heart and stops it.

Alt names - Quite the Pickle

i-Boned

(79)

Taken from: Grave Errors

On June 12, 2009, in Cincinnati, OH. A cell phone addict annoying and infuriating others with her chatter at a movie theater dies when the defective battery in her phone short circuits and the phone explodes, sending shrapnel into her inner ear and brain.

Alt names - Battery Dead

Guns N' Noses

(78)

Taken from: Killing Them Softly

On December 14, 1992, in Sierra Leone. After capturing and killing a diamond smuggler, a ruthless warlord celebrates by snorting "brown-brown" (cocaine laced with nitroglycerine-laced gunpowder). The tray holding the mixture is contaminated with diamond dust; when the warlord snorts the mixture, the particles lacerate his arteries and travel to his heart, causing him to bleed to death.

Alt names - Blood Diamonds

Handi-Crapped

(77)

Taken from: Death: One Size Fits All

On July 24, 2001, in Flint, MI. A man in a mobility scooter and a neckbrace bullies other coworkers and regularly threatens to sue his company for causing his injury. One day, one of his coworkers walks in on the man taking off his neckbrace and discovers that he's been faking his injuries. The man chases after his coworker on his mobility scooter to keep her from ratting him out to his boss, but the co-worker loses him in a waiting elevator. The man plows through the elevator doors and ends up falling down the empty elevator shaft, dying of severe bodily trauma.

Alt names - Getting the Shaft

U.P.F'D

(76)

Taken from: Death – The Gift That Lasts Forever

On December 1, 2003, in Olympia, WA. A former mailman who was forced into early retirement now steals packages in front of peoples' houses. After stealing a box from the doorstep of a prominent judge, he opens it and gets hit in the face with anthrax that was set up on a jack-in-the-box-style mechanism. The bacteria kills the man a week later.

Alt names - Anthrax Attack

Fire In The Hole

(75)

Taken from: Wait, Don't Tell Me – You're Dead

On July 16, 2002, at the Florida State Prison. A Neo-Nazi jail inmate attempts to escape by having his moronic friend get himself arrested while carrying a hand grenade in his rectum. Once in jail, the friend has trouble extracting the grenade, so the Neo-Nazi tries to get it out himself. In doing so, he pulls out the pin, setting off an explosion that kills them both. The explosion blows out the friend's guts and blows off the Neo-Nazi's face and skull.

Another Up The Butt Story

(74)

Taken from: Eat, Pray Die

On August 17, 2009, in Las Vegas, NV. A drunk bachelor attempts to rape a stripper (who was used as a human sushi bar) at his bachelor party. The stripper pushes him onto the toilet and he leans on the flush mechanism. Abnormally high pressure in the tank causes the porcelain lid to fly onto the floor and shatter, and the bachelor slips onto a shard of porcelain, piercing his colon and intestinal tract, and causing him to bleed to death.

Alt names - Buzz-Ted

Smother-In-Law

(73)

Taken from: Today's Special: Death

On March 5, 2007, in Muncie, OH. A meddlesome, shrewish, overweight mother-in-law angers her son's wife by nagging her about her son's food preferences. After getting slapped in the face, the wife leaves the kitchen. The mother-in-law tries to take a frozen pizza out of the freezer, but the box is wedged between other groceries, and the force of the mother-in-law's tugging sends the refrigerator crashing down on her. The sharp end of the freezer door pierces her throat while the rest of the refrigerator crushes her body.

Alt names - Monster-in-Law Knows Worst

Mary Lou Rectum

(72)

Taken from: The One About Dumb People Dying

On February 12, 2010, in Colorado Springs, CO. A very bitter gymnast who lost her chances at being an Olympic star and her beleaguered partner practice in the gym for a Las Vegas show. After belittling her colleague on her trampoline skills, she attempts to dismount off the trampoline herself. Unfortunately, she lands on top of one of the supports for the parallel bars (which was left out by a worker trying to fix the bars) between her rectum and vaginal opening and fatally impales herself.

Alt names - Lady and the Trampoline

Smoke Stalked

(71)

Taken from: Death Be a Lady Tonight

On March 8, 2004, in Holbrook, AZ. A psychotic ex-girlfriend stalks her newly-married boyfriend and his happy wife to the point that her invasions become threatening. Desperate to take their minds off the stalker, the couple go on vacation, during which the stalker tries to break in through the chimney and gets stuck. Trapped for a week, she slowly dies of a mix of starvation, dehydration, and suffocation (asphyxiation) until her body's finally freed by her returning boyfriend, noticing her corpse is preventing him from starting a fire in the flue.

Alt names - Look Who's Stalking

Ball Sacked

(70)

Taken from: Death, The New Black

On October 3, 2007, in Coalville, WV. An angry football coach has been reduced to working at a small-town high school after being fired for cheating. As he tries to toughen up his players in an outlawed "Bull Ring" drill, the coach is hit by a player, stumbles from the hit and into the path of a kicker's kick, which hits him in the uprights. The kicker was given lead insets in his cleats just before practice and the force of the kick causes the coach's pelvis to shatter and a piece of bone to lodge into his kidneys and give him a fatal case of septic shock.

Alt names - Sports Nut

Lost In Transfusion

(69)

Taken from: Dead Before They Know It

On May 16, 2002, in Chicago, IL. In order to beat a company drug test, a cocaine-addicted crane operator injects himself with blood that matches his type, stolen by his girlfriend who works as a hospital cook. However, he does not listen when she warns him to warm the blood before injecting it. He stores the blood in the refrigerator overnight before injecting it in the bathroom moments before his drug test. Once the cold blood enters his body, the man is killed instantly from fibrillation and tachycardia.

Alt names - Cold Blooded

Chairway to Heaven

(68)

Taken from: Stupid Is As Death Does

On November 20, 2003, in Milwaukee, WI. A deadbeat dad who abandoned his family to "find himself" (an act so heinous even the narrator says he wants to kill the man) gets drunk with his friend while setting up his new house. He brings in a pilot seat from a Soviet fighter jet, unaware that it still works. He pulls the lever on the seat and is launched 10 feet into the air, crushing his skull against the roof.

Alt names - Ouch Potato

Straight To DVDead

(67)

Taken from: Better Them Than Us

On December 6, 2005, in Hollywood, CA. Two men are reenacting a 1775 Revolutionary War duel for a low-budget film. One man, a former criminal-turned-wannabe actor who was passed up for the lead role, plots to kill the other, so he slips a lead ball into the gun chamber to make the death seem like an accident. However, when he fires the gun, it explodes due to an excessive amount of gunpowder, blowing his hand off and sending shrapnel into his femoral artery, and he is killed from blood loss. (based on the death of Brandon Lee but unlike this scenario Lee's attempt was successful were as the person in this scenario plan backfired).

Alt names - Duel Personalities

Any Given Gunday

(66)

Taken from: That's "Mister Death" To You

On November 25, 2004, in Los Angeles, CA. A "jersey chaser" (a groupie who likes to seduce professional athletes) sleeps with a pro football player. Due to a concussion he endured during one of his games, the player wakes up with no memory of sleeping with the jersey chaser and becomes paranoid over someone out to rob him of his money (which is the reason why he has guns hidden in his house). He calms down when he finds the jersey chaser making him breakfast in the kitchen, until she turns on the stove, which contains a gun hidden inside. The gun is heated up and fires into the woman's skull, killing her instantly.

Alt names - One in the Oven

Descent Of A Woman

(65)

Taken from: That's "Mister Death" To You

On October 20, 2008, in Tucson, AZ. A germophobe with obsessive-compulsive disorder falls off a ladder while cleaning and lands on a mirror, breaking it. One shard enters her armpit, tearing open her axillary artery but also plugging the hole; when she later pulls the shard out, the hole reopens and she quickly bleeds to death.

Alt names - Mirror Mirror

Dead-dy Dearest

(64)

Taken from: If You're Dead – Leave a Message and We'll Get Back to You

On May 25, 1994, in Sandusky, OH. An extremely overprotective father and former Army soldier scares his daughter and her boyfriend by firing a gun at her boyfriend after suspecting that the two are having sex. The father then remorselessly explains to his enraged daughter that the whole thing was a prank and that the gun is loaded with blanks. The man demonstrates by aiming the gun at his head and firing. Ironically, the man dies from getting shot in the head by the force of the blank hitting him in his temple.

Alt names - Point Blank

Tone Death

(63)

Taken from: If You're Dead – Leave a Message and We'll Get Back to You

On October 17, 2009, in Brooklyn, NY. An I-Dose dealer uses military subsonic equipment to amplify the hallucinogenic effects of his music for a new I-Dose file called "Satan's Jackhammer" and ends up dying from sonic pressure.

Alt names - Over-I-Dose

Trucked Up

(62)

Taken from: Dying to Tell the Story

On August 2, 2006, in Ithaca, NY. A teenager shows off his car to his girlfriend, but his obnoxious cousin also shows off his new pickup truck. While showing off eight ball on his gear shift, he left the car in gear. When he activated the remote starter, the truck lurched forward, popped out of gear, knocked him on the ground and then crushed his skull with the tires.

Little Chop Of Horrors

(61)

Taken from: Dying to Tell the Story

On June 11, 2005, Detroit, MI. A chop shop owner cheats two criminals out of a car, attempting to profit from its engine. As he works under the car to loosen the mounts, the chain holding up the engine breaks, dropping it onto his chest and crushing him.

Alt names - Chop Shop of Horrors

Falling Down On The Job

(60)

Taken from: Sudden Death

On June 7, 1998, in Boise, ID. A lazy construction worker uses a rope elevator designed for bringing tools to the upper floors of a building. On his way up, the rope snaps and he plummets to his death, when he hits the ground, he suffers multiple fractures and dies of hemorrhaging.

Alt names - Destruction Worker

Bed Buggered

(59)

Taken from: Sudden Death

On October 14, 2004, in Columbus, OH. Two college roommates (a jock and a geek) share a dorm room, with the latter continually being made to leave whenever the former brings a date to the dorm. One night, the geek finally brings a date to the room, and has sex with her on top of the bunk beds while the jock harasses the two of them from below. The movements of the couple cause the top bunk to fall on the jock and fatally crush him. Based on a similar sense from Black Sheep (1996).

Alt names - Jerked Off

Die-Arrhea

(58)

Taken from: Cure for the Common Death, Part II

On February 21, 2004, in Louisville, KY. An obnoxious, renowned jockey evicted from his hotel becomes desperate to win a horse race so he can retire for good, so he becomes anorexic and starts abusing illegal Chinese laxatives to lose enough weight to race. He surprisingly wins, but dies from massive dehydration, potassium deficiency, and renal failure from the laxatives he took and no fluids to replenish his electrolytes.

Alt names - Die-Fecta

R.I.P.-PED

(57)

Taken from: Today's Menu: Deep Fried Death

On October 3, 2004, in Tarzana, CA. A 70-year-old man obsessed with body building relies on not only his exercise equipment, but his juicer to build and maintain his muscles. After years of overworking his juicer, the juicer stops, overheats, and explodes, sending the juicer's blade into his carotid artery.

Alt names - Juiced

De-Throned

(56)

Taken from: Today's Menu: Deep Fried Death

On April 23, 2002, in Las Vegas, NV. A misogynistic biker forces a bar maid to be his personal housekeeper so she can pay off a gambling debt. During her time, he intentionally makes messes for her to clean up, one of which is cleaning motorcycle parts with gasoline in the living room. The maid cleans up the gasoline by sopping it up in a rag, wringing it out in a bucket, and pouring the gasoline in the toilet, but doesn't flush. The biker comes home, throws down his beer can, and goes to the bathroom. As the biker is on the toilet, he smokes a cigarette and tosses it between his legs into the bowl. The methane gas from his flatulence gets ignited by the cigarette and the toilet blows up, rupturing the biker's pelvic arteries and causing him to bleed to death, much to the relief and happiness of the maid.

Alt names - Bowel-ed Over

Cruci-Fried

(55)

Taken from: Young, Dumb, and Full of Death

On July 19, 1978, in Chattanooga, TN. A phony miracle healer and minister removes the ground from a three-pronged electrical plug to a microphone amp in hopes of getting rid of an annoying hum emitting from the machine. During the service, he steps into a baptismal pool while holding the microphone and is electrocuted.

Alt names - Seeing The Light

Vuvu...Whatever, He's Dead

(54)

Taken from: Death Puts On a Dunce Cap

On November 21, 2009, in Tucson, AZ. At a soccer match, a soccer-obsessed nuisance buys a vuvuzela and vigorously blows it, straining to blow harder with each successful sound. The pressure caused by blowing the horn nonstop causes a brain aneurysm.

Alt names - Feelin' Horny

Scratch n' Snuffed

(53)

Taken from: Death Puts On a Dunce Cap

On November 2, 2008, Hattiesburg, VA. A politician drops dead after being voted out of office, being humiliated by widespread news of a sex scandal involving visits to South America to see his Brazilian mistress, and going broke after his wife abandons him. When the politician was on one of these trips ten years earlier, he was bitten by a triatominae. After numerous visits and numerous bits, he to develop Chagas' disease, which in turn led to a fatal cardiac arrhythmia.

Alt names - Buggered

Lesboned

(52)

Taken from: Hurry Up and Die

On June 9, 2008, in Parker Strip, AZ. A bisexual real estate agent notorious for having sex with her clients seduces a wealthy, lesbian prospective customer. After a tour of the house, pool, and eventually the laundry room, they strip and have sex on top of the dryer. Their movements cause its fuel line to come loose and the room fills with natural gas. When the water heater turns on automatically, it ignites the gas and sets off an explosion that kills both women.

Alt names - Burning Loins

Mail Order Fried

(51)

Taken from: Hurry Up and Die

On August 14, 2002, in Olathe, KA. An obnoxious mailman who has a second job as the target at the local carnival's dunk tank insults the customers with embarrassing secrets he culls from their mail. Over time, balls that miss the target repeatedly hit the fuse box for the tank's water heater and damage the wiring until it makes contact with the water, electrifying it. When one customer (a former professional baseball player who spent two years playing the game in Japan) hits the target, the mailman falls into the tank and is electrocuted.

Alt names - Shock and Awww

Die-Drant

(50)

Taken from: The End is Weird

On November 21, 2009, in Brentwood, CA. A prankster uses a mirror to reflect sunlight into the eyes of passing drivers in the hopes of causing an accident. He succeeds when the driver collides with a fire hydrant, which flies into the air and crushes the prankster's skull.

Die-Brator

(49)

Taken from: Fatal Distractions

On May 1, 1998, in San Francisco, CA. After a seminar, a misandristic, sociopathic leader of a fringe feminist party (notorious for their sexually violent crimes against men) returns home to find a vibrator from her lesbian lover, unaware that it's really a 1000-kilovolt taser that resembles a vibrator. After inserting it into herself and activating it, the taser electrocutes the feminist, causing cardiac arrest and kills her.

Alt names - Pink Tingler

Pornicated

(48)

Taken from: Dead Wrongs

On April 19, 2010, in Tucson, AZ. A porn addicted compulsive hoarder throws out everything in his wife's vanity to make room for his filthy, dirty movies, prompting his long-suffering wife of 35 years to leave him. Unfazed, the man continues to feed his addiction, but forgets to eat and drink. Disoriented, he begins to stagger his way out of the house, but because he has been hoarding so much X-rated (NC-17-rated) material over the years, he ends up getting trapped, collapses on the floor from severe dehydration, and dies.

Alt names - Hoard Knock Life

Hair Today, Dead Tomorrow

(47)

Taken from: Stupid is as Stupid Dies

On May 1, 1968, San Francisco, CA. A female nudist painter lapses into a coma and dies after months of digestive problems caused by her trichophagia. At the morgue, the coroners discover a trichobezoar in her intestines, which was clogged with enough hair and undigested food to cause intestinal rupturing and internal bleeding.

Alt names - Rug Munched

Fansicle

(46)

Taken from: Stupid is as Stupid Dies

On October 19, 2009, in Cool Rapids, MI. A football fanatic paints himself in his team's colors (blue and white) and goes to a game in freezing weather. Sitting drunk and half-naked in the stands, he begins to develop hypothermia; however, no one can tell due to his blue paint and he loses the ability to speak, quickly freezing to death.

Alt names - Imbecile on Ice

Catch and Decease

(45)

Taken from: Putting A Smiley Face On Death

On June 17, 2008, in The Amazon. A man in the Amazon hires a group of natives to search for gold and abuses them while they are doing so. While swimming in a river nearby from the men, he relieves himself in the river, which attracts a candiru, which enters his penis and attaches itself to the side of his urethra. The man rips the fish out, along with much of the inside of his penis, and is soon eaten alive by piranhas attracted by the escaping blood, much to the amusement of the men he had hired.

Alt names - No Candiru

Mine Over Splatter

(44)

Taken from: Death On A Stick

On May 8, 1985, in Da Nang, Vietnam. Three former Vietnamese soldiers are arguing about what is the best aphrodisiac and decide to settle the score once and for all by playing Russian roulette. The three all dodge the bullet in the gun they use for the game and feel so invincible that they stomp the ground, which sets off an underground land mine left over from the Vietnam War that was buried underneath their shack. The explosion demolishes the shack and leaves nothing but a severed head from one of the men.

Deadliest Munch

(43)

Taken from: Death On Arrival

On June 7, 2008, in Stockton, CA. A lesbian comes home to find that her lover burned their dinner for the evening. To lighten the mood, the woman's lover reveals that she is wearing a candy bra and G-string. The lesbian begins eating the G-string, but it snaps and then she chokes to death on it, which means asphyxiated.

Weenie Roast

(42)

Taken from: Dead on Dead

On July 20, 2001, in Climax, KS. A group of men and women on a camping trip after spending the day at a Christian retreat play truth or dare. A man is dared by one of the women to urinate on an electric fence. The man declines, though another man follows through with the dare and is electrocuted when his urine makes contact with the fence.

Screwged

(41)

Taken from: Dead to Rights

On December 24, 1988, in Lansing, MI. An elderly Scrooge attacks a group of carolers gathered outside his house during a hailstorm by throwing rotten fruit at them. As the carolers run off, a large hailstone hits the man on the head, fracturing his skull.

Alt names - A Christmas KO'd

Anger Damagement

(40)

Taken from: Dead to Rights

On August 6, 2002, in Lawrence, KS. A group of friends gather at one's house to watch professional wrestling. The new guy, who met one of the friends at an anger management class, starts picking fights with the guys. He is killed when he runs headfirst into the widescreen television, embedding glass shards in his face, breaking his neck, and electrocuting himself.

Alt names - TerrorVision

Shafted

(39)

Taken from: You're Dead! LOL!

On January 8, 1992, in Fort Worth, TX. A mean-spirited, claustrophobic office manager gets in an elevator with some employees. However, the elevator gets stuck. In a desperate attempt to get out, the other employees pry open the doors to let her out. As she is climbing out, the hydraulic brakes fail and the elevator proceeds to descend, crushing the woman's abdomen/bisecting her.

Exhaustdead

(38)

Taken from: You're Dead! LOL!

On October 19, 1995, in Orlando, FL. A woman secretly dates another man to escape her abusive ex-boyfriend. When the ex finds out, he drives to the restaurant where the woman is meeting the other man and plans to pelt them with his paintball gun. He backs his car against a pile of trash, which blocks the exhaust pipe. The exhaust comes out through the air conditioning vents, and he eventually dies when high levels of carbon monoxide fill his car and poison him.

Lady & The Trampled

(37)

Taken from: You're Dead! LOL!

On August 19, 2001, in Sturgis, SD. A drunken, misogynistic biker pulls off a female dancer's top at a bar during the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, and another dancer in the troupe defends her friend by knocking him to the ground. The biker is then trampled to death by a group of drunk men who rush to the stage to check out the woman who had just been stripped.

Alt names - Lady 'n' The Trampled

Written Offed

(36)

Taken from: Waking Up Dead

On April 28, 2009, in Glendale, CA. An immigrant military-store owner who is facing foreclosure is confronted by a banker ready to repossess his business. After the owner signs a contract he throws the banker's pen in anger. The banker demands a new pen, pointing to one in the display case, which is actually a gun that looks like a pen. The owner tries to explain this to the banker, but is ignored. The banker inadvertently aims the gun at himself and shoots himself in the head.

Mile Die Club

(35)

Taken from: Waking Up Dead

On October 2, 1997, in Clarkdale, AZ. An abusive man trying to stop his soon-to-be ex-wife from leaving him climbs into the cargo bay of his wife's plane (which he was easily able to do, as airport security prior to the September 11 attacks was not as tight). The atmospheric temperature drops as the plane rises, and he eventually dies of hypothermia and asphyxia.

Alt names - Atmos-phyxiation

Blend-Dead

(34)

Taken from: Death Watch

On September 19, 1998, in Austin, TX. A woman tries to achieve longevity by eating healthy foods grown in her own garden blended together in a smoothie. Unbeknownst to her, her landlord has been spraying rat poison in her garden when she is not home. Due to her ignorance of what the landlord has been doing, she consumes the poisoned produce, which thins her blood and makes her increasingly ill. Foolishly believing she needs more smoothies to regain her health, she continues to consume her poison-laced produce. Later, she sprawls across a medicine ball, causing all her blood to rush to her head until she eventually dies of a brain hemorrhage.

Alt names - Ratted Out

Back Broke Mountain

(33)

Taken from: Come On, Get Deathy

On October 29, 2003, in Los Angeles, CA. An unhappily married couple preparing for divorce go for a walk near a cliff. The husband plans on killing his wife to collect her insurance by taking a picture of themselves with his phone and then shoving her over the edge. As they are about to take the photo and he tries to shove her, she tries to fight him off in self-defense. The ensuing tussle leads to the husband's plan backfiring on him as she accidentally tosses the husband off the cliff. He breaks many of his bones and dies.

Smoke A Doped

(32)

Taken from: Gratefully Dead

On October 14, 1997, in Newark, DE. A man refuses to fall in love with his romantic addict girlfriend unless she quits smoking. The woman finds a box of nicotine patches in her bathroom and puts a month's worth of them all over her body, thinking they will make her break her addiction overnight. However, the excess of nicotine overloads her system and she dies of cardiac arrest.

A Turn For The Purse

(31)

Taken from: Gratefully Dead

On October 9, 2003, in Dallas, TX. A stripper living in a suburban town has her purse stolen by a mugger on a bicycle, who threatens her with a screwdriver. A nearby man sees the mugger and goes after him. The mugger speeds away, but hits his bike on a rock and flies onto a lawn, where he impaled on his screwdriver through his heart. The stripper then takes her purse back and calmly walks away.

Alt names - Invasion of the Purse Snatcher

Jack 'n' Croak'd

(30)

Taken from: Bringing In The Dead

On October 10, 1911, in Lynchburg, TN. Whiskey distiller Jack Daniel samples the taste of his family brew and keeps asking his workers to perfect it. He gets drunk in the process, but finally makes the perfect batch. He decides to update his family recipe, which is stored in a safe, but is so drunk that he cannot remember the combination. In a drunken rage, he kicks the safe, and damages his big toe. The cut soon becomes infected, and he dies of sepsis two weeks later.

Alt names - The Jack Daniel Story

Rub-A-Dubbed Out

(29)

Taken from: Putting a Happy Face on Death

On August 27, 2004, in Tulsa, OK. A man who has stolen a bag of groceries from a blind pregnant woman hides in a car wash to escape police. The car wash owner runs the daily maintenance check, and the thief becomes disoriented by the chaos inside the car wash. During his struggle to find the exit, his head becomes impaled by a 1,000 PSI spray nozzle, which fills his skull with water. The force of the water pressure inside his skull eventually causes his head to explode.

M-R-Ouch!

(28)

Taken from: Up With Death

On May 4, 2005, in Peoria, IL. A night nurse is mugged by a gun-toting drug addict during her shift. She tries to knock him unconscious by giving him prescription drugs, but they are ineffective. The addict soon tries to rape the nurse, and she lures him to an MRI room by stripping. She then turns it on to disarm the addict, but he has a steel plate in his skull which the magnetic force of the MRI machine attracts. The man flies into the machine, hitting his head on its top, and dies of brain damage from the massive blow.

Alt names - Nurse Case Scenario

Vermin-ated

(27)

Taken from: Death Bites!

On August 4, 2003, in Macon, GA. A convicted robber on the run hides in a drainage pipe and gets stuck. Later that night, rats appear and start eating him alive, eventually eating into his brain.

Alt names - Mort's Bad Day

Funny Boned

(26)

Taken from: I See Dead People (And They're Cracking Me Up)

On January 19, 1997, in Mesa, AZ. An easily amused man dies of cardiac arrest after laughing for 36 hours straight over an unknown (and unmentioned) punchline to a joke.

Alt names - Good to the Last Laugh

Ichiboned

(25)

Taken from: Death be not Stupid

On November 21, 1987, in Tokyo, Japan. A young, shy Japanese couple that has been married for seven years are too repressed to even consummate their marriage by making love. One day, after a bottle of plum wine, they try again, and this time succeed. Their hearts are not physically ready for such a shock, however, and they both die from cardiac arrest after achieving simultaneous orgasms.

Alt names - Love at First Strike

Pissed Off

(24)

Taken from: Death: A User's Manual

On July 3, 1992, in Monrovia, CA. An Irishman on a golf course in the United States is recovering his ball from the rough when a rat runs up his pants leg, scratches his leg, and urinates on him. The urine seeps into the scratch, causing leptospirosis, which kills him a week later.

Alt names - Not So Happy Lad

Gut Busted

(23)

Taken from: Death: A User's Manual

On February 20, 1998, in Naperville, NV. An obese man starts belching constantly while on a date due to numerous peptic ulcers lining his stomach. Thinking the belching is simply due to gas, he asks his date to punch him in the stomach to stop it. Instead, the impact causes his stomach to burst, leaking acid into his abdomen.

Alt names - Ab-dominated

Red, White & Blew

(22)

Taken from: Cure for the Common Death, Part I

On July 4, 1983, in Lawrence, KS. A group of rednecks attempt to celebrate the Fourth of July by launching a firework from a homemade launcher. When it fails to work, one of them looks down the barrel of the launcher and the firework explodes in his face, shattering his skull into his brain.

Alt names - Death on the Fourth of July

Radium Girls

(21)

Taken from: Cure for the Common Death, Part I

On January 5, 1920, in Orange, NJ. In the 1920s, a group of women who work at a factory that uses paint containing radium to create fluorescent watch faces notice that the paint also glows when applied to their skin. They eventually expose themselves to huge amounts of radiation after repeated applications (mostly using the radioactive paint as glow-in-the-dark body paint for their lovers during sex). While most of them died from bone cancer, the survivors filed one of the first successful workers' rights lawsuits against the company and won, leading to increased safety standards in American workplaces.

Tanked Girl

(20)

Taken from: Cure for the Common Death, Part I

On December 21, 1978, in St. Augustine, FL. A female scuba diver waits in a decompression chamber after making an emergency swim back to the surface. A maintenance worker, not knowing the diver is in the room, releases the pressure of the room, causing her body to instantly explode.

Face Offed

(19)

Taken from: The Good, The Bad, and the Death

On December 21, 2007, in Las Vegas, NV. A Las Vegas showgirl shaves her legs with a rusty razor blade. When she accidentally cuts herself, she contracts a Group A streptococcal infection, which develops into necrotizing fasciitis ("flesh-eating" bacteria). The bacteria in her blood stream breaks through a pimple on her face and starts eating away at her face. She eventually dies from sepsis.

Chippin Dale

(18)

Taken from: Unforced Errors

While two men are shredding tree branches in a woodchipper, one of the branches jams the woodchipper. Anxious to go home, one of them foolishly tries to unjam the woodchipper with his foot, but his foot gets stuck in the machine and his entire body is quickly shredded to pieces.

Alt names - Wood Shredder

Jake N' Baked

(17)

Taken from: Death be not Stupid

On December 15, 1990, in Long Beach, CA. A narcoleptic metal worker falls asleep in a curing oven. When a friend/co-worker locks him in and turns the oven on to 600 °F for 12 hours, not knowing the man is in the oven, he is burned alive.

Alt names - Lazy Bake Oven

Re-Tired

(16)

Taken from: Death Gets Busy

On June 4, 2005, in Bakersfield, CA. A porn addict reads a dangerous magazine while inflating a truck tire. Distracted by the magazine, the man forgets to check on the tire. After a while, the tire explodes from over-inflation, lodging pieces of shrapnel from the metal tire rim into his brain and killing him.

Alt names - Tire Blast

Choke-A-Lot

(15)

Taken from: Death Gets Busy

On March 27, 1975, in Peachtree City, GA. Two dim-witted kitchen aides play by throwing cocoa powder at each other in a confined room. The powder impairs the alveoli in their lungs and they are asphyxiated.

Rebel Without A Pulse

(14)

Taken from: The Lighter Side of Death

On July 4, 1867 in Anniston, GA. Soon after the American Civil War, a Confederate deserter is ordered to be executed via firing squad. All of the shooters miss, but the deserter still dies as he suffers a heart attack brought on by his intense fear of being shot.

Trailer Trashed

(13)

Taken from: Dead and Deader

On May 1, 1979, in Aberdeen, SD. A newly married man attempts to unclog his new RV's toilet with bleach since other attempts to unclog it are unsuccessful. The bleach reacts with the sewage to form chlorine gas, which suffocates him.

Domin-a-Dead

(12)

Taken from: Dead and Deader

On February 27, 2006, in Tonopah, NV. A 32-year-old virgin looking to have sex with a hooker is chosen by a dominatrix, who makes him wear a latex suit and a ball gag as she is punishing him. The man soon has an allergic reaction to the latex suit (which he was unaware he had), and ends up dying because his cries of distress were muffled by the ball gag and the dominatrix thought he was groaning from pleasure, not pain.

Alt names - Rubbered Out

Frightmare

(11)

Taken from: Death Over Easy

On June 15, 1995, in Fargo, ND. A woman suffers from SUNDS, which stands for "Sudden Unexpected Nocturnal Death Syndrome" (aka Nightmare Syndrome), and dies in her sleep from cardiac arrhythmia, brought on by an intense nightmare she could not wake up from.

Alt names - A Nightmare on SUNDS Street

Habeas Corpse

(10)

Taken from: Unforced Errors

On May 1, 1998, in Los Angeles, CA. Trying to impress a new workmate, a lawyer runs head-on into a window on the fortieth floor of his office to prove it unbreakable, a stunt he had done multiple times without any injury. Unfortunately, the window gives way and he falls to his death.

Alt names - Drop Dead Attorney

Killdo

(9)

Taken from: Unforced Errors

On January 31, 2004 in Roanoke, VA. While eyeing a handsome grocery store clerk, a woman gets the idea to use a peeled carrot as a dildo during her nightly masturbation session. While using the carrot during her session, a rough cut slices her vaginal wall, letting air into her circulatory system. An air bubble travels to her heart, blocking her blood flow, and the woman dies from an air embolism.

Alt names - Cursed Carrot

Oprah Winfried

(8)

Taken from: Death Over Easy

On November 12, 1986, in Folsom, CA. An obnoxious former death row inmate whose sentence was commuted to life without parole (much to the disgust of his lawyer) is watching "The Oprah Winfrey Show" (1986-2011) on his metallic prison toilet and is electrocuted when he grabs an exposed portion of the power cord in an attempt to fix his TV reception.

Alt names - Stalk Show

Heart On

(7)

Taken from: I See Dead People (And They're Cracking Me Up)

On October 19, 2005, in Tooele County, UT. A mentally unstable man attaches jumper cables to a cow heart he bought from a slaughterhouse and tries to use it as a sex toy. At first, he attaches the cow heart to a car battery, but when it does not work for him, he tries hooking it up to a 110-volt wall socket, and is electrocuted.

Butt Plugged

(6)

Taken from: The Good, The Bad, and the Death

On November 9, 2002, in El Segundo, CA. A newly released convict driving drunk with a hooker in the front seat shoves a can of pepper spray into his rectum to avoid detection by a police officer who pulls him over. When the officer shoves the con against his truck for talking back, the can is activated, soaking the con's rectum with the spray and fatally eating it away.

Alt names - Plugged Up

Semi-cide

(5)

Taken from: Life Will Kill You

A man is run over and cut in half by an 18-wheeler while working under his car in a parking lot. His upper body and legs are accidentally sent to separate hospitals, making the medic crew lose some time. The man dies of pain and he bleeds out.

Freeze Died

(4)

Taken from: Hard Lives, Easy Deaths

A man working at a mafia-owned South Philadelphia meat packing company is deliberately locked in a walk-in freezer out of revenge for stealing cuts of meat and getting his employer's 17-year-old granddaughter pregnant, and dies of hypothermia.

De-Coffinated

(3)

Taken from: Hard Lives, Easy Deaths

A land dispute between two brothers in Haiti ends with one brother asking a witch doctor to poison the other with tetrodotoxin, causing paralysis. Believed to be dead, the poisoned brother is buried alive, and his corpse is later found by grave robbers, having succumbed to suffocation. Shortly before the brother's death, he tried to claw his way out with his fingers, wearing them down to the bone.

Sex Ray

(2)

Taken from: Death Gets Busy

On March 12, 2001, in Jackson, MI. A man is having an x-ray of his head taken when the doctor and nurse begin falling in love in the control room. They accidentally hit the exposure button repeatedly while falling in love, eventually giving the patient a lethal dose of radiation.

Alt names - X-Ray Attack

Bank Ruptured

(1)

Taken from: Cure for the Common Death, Part I

On December 21, 1978, in Bordeaux, France. A man with the eating disorder pica manages to fill his stomach with metal objects, which eventually cut the surrounding veins and arteries, filling his stomach with blood. His stomach soon bursts and spills blood into his abdomen.

Alt names - Blood Money


Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.

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