Way to Die #255
"The Depart-dead"
Name of the death is a pun on "The Departed"
The Depart-dead
"When the smoke cleared, Boston had four less dummies...(gangster language)...Hey! Why don't you Southies park your car into the packy parking lot? You're dead!"
Date March 25, 1991
Location South Boston, Massachusetts
Episode this death
was featured in
"Stupid Is As Death Does"

Way to Die #255: The Depart-Dead, is the third death featured in "Stupid Is As Death Does", which aired on March 29, 2011.


A group of white, teenage wannabe-gangstas from South Boston play a drinking game called "Edward Fortyhands”, in which drinkers have beer bottles taped to their hands, and they cannot do anything (smoke, urinate, leave the room, etc.) until the beer bottles are empty. One of them spits a half-lit cigar under a couch, which starts burning the flammable synthetic stuffing, releasing hydrogen cyanide into the room. Because they cannot open the door, they suffocate (asphyxiate) on the fumes. The only one who didn't participate in the game arrives too late, and discovers his dead friends, prompting him to ask someone else in the house to call an ambulance.

Man: Somebody call 9-1-1!

Alternative Description

Alternative description as seen on Spike TV's website

Four white wannabe gangstas from South Boston are killed by smoke inhalation because their hands are taped to 40-ounce beers.

Segment Nickname

  • Gangsta Trapped (Spike TV)
  • No Way Out