Way to Die #425
"Ten-Ass Anyone?"
Name of the death is a pun on "tennis anyone?"
Ten-Ass Anyone?
Date May 16, 2003
Location San Diego, California
Episode this death
was featured in
"Crying Over Spilled Blood"
previous death
next death

"Ten-Ass Anyone?", Way to Die #425, is the first death featured in "Crying Over Spilled Blood", which aired on July 15, 2012.


Mike and Matt are two tennis wannabes who idolize 70's tennis players John McEnroe and Bjorn Borg (Copying their hairstyles, attire, and wooden rackets). The pair even hired their own chair umpire to look over their tennis matches. Even 2 girls, who like Mike even more than Matt. Much like John McEnroe, Matt had a fiery temper and would frequently insult the chair umpire for his calls. After losing the match to Mike, Matt breaks his wooden racket and takes the handle prepared to stab and kill the chair umpire. However, the chair umpire leaves the chair which causes it to topple over as Matt climbs it. The fall causes the racket's handle to impale Matt in the rectum, causing massive internal bleeding and the leakage of stool into the pelvis. As they are watching this, the girls scream in terror.

"Matt was no McEnroe. In the end, he died. Never to be Bjorned, again."


  • Dr. Jeffrey Baker

Foreign names

  • Raquetazo Final (Final Stroke) - Latin American dub.
  • Cabreo Mortal (Mortal Anger) - Spanish dub

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