Way to Die #522
"Signed Out"
Name of the death is a pun on "sign out"
Signed Out
Date June 19, 2006
Location Columbus, Ohio
Episode this death
was featured in
"It's a Dead, Dead World"

"Signed Out", Way to Die #522, is the first death featured in "It's a Dead, Dead, Dead World", which aired on July 15, 2012.


When Serena, the wife of a lazy man named Joseph, also known as Joe, announces that she is divorcing him, he repeatedly injures himself in order to frame her as being abusive. Serena thinks that Joe is a bit weird and asked him, "What are you doing?" She told Joe to stop and saying that he's crazy. Joe slaps his face, hits his face with something on the fireplace, smashes his hand with a piano cover and hurts his leg with a piano chair, and tells that she'll never leave him, till death do us part. Concerned neighbors called 911, Paramedics arrive and put him on a gurney as police confront Serena, but it rolls down a hill until it hits a rock. Joe started screaming in horror as he is launched off the gurney and lands on top of a curved road sign, impaling Joe through the stomach, putting an end to his screams, and sending him to hell. And with that, death do Joe and Serena part.

"Joe never saw it coming. He was blindsided by his wife, beat up by himself, and then....he signed off."

Segment Nickname

  • Long Day's Gurney (Spike website)
  • Impaled Divorce


  • Continuity / Revealing: When Joe lands on the road sign, no blood gushes out of his stomach immediately; the next shot shows the blood already on the sign, but not gushing. Also, the shot of Joe landing onto the sign is clearly played backwards.