"My Big Fat Greek Death", Way to Die #348, is the seventh and final death to be featured in "Better Them Than Us", which aired on March 16, 2011.
Plot[]
Perillos of Athens, a metalworker, attempts to impress King Phalaris with the unveiling of a new torture device: the brazen bull, which is meant to roast enemies that are placed inside. To make it sound even more gruesome, the bull was built in a way to amplify the victim's screams, making it sound like the bellowing of a real bull and the steam from the victim's body fluids would make the bull's nose whistle like a tea kettle. To test the device, Phalaris locks Perillos in the device and cooks him to death.
Transcript[]
(View of Greece, Comedy Death Intro is playing, view of Phalaris)
Narrator: This, is a story about a king,
(View of Perillos, thinking)
Narrator: and a peasant.
(Phalaris eats the muscat)
Narrator: In 560 BC, Phalaris ruled over the greek empire.
(Perillos builds something metallic)
Narrator: Perillos, was a simple bronze worker.
Narrator: The king, lived like... a king.
(Perillos still thinking)
Narrator: Perillos wanted some of the good life too. So he prayed to the gods.
Perillos: Γα νο τογα η παι (Ga no toga i pai!) ()
Narrator: And Zeus answered.
(The sun ray shoots on Perillos as he has an idea)
Perillos: Εύρηκααααααα!!! (Eurekaaaaaaa!!!)
(Perillos starts to build his new invention)
Narrator: Phalaris was always looking for new and crueler ways to torture and kill his enemies. Perillos, had the answer:
(Perillos uses the miniature of...)
Narrator: A bronze bull. In which an enemy could be placed inside, heated up and cooked.
Perillos: (Laughs of joy)
Narrator: Steam from the victim's bodily fluids would make the bull whistle, like a teapot.
(The teapot whistles, Intense Insane Orchestral Chase is playing)
Richard Iacovelli: Brazen bull was a large... bull. One and a half times the size of a common cow. And it was made basically to pressure cook someone. Victims would be placed into the belly of the bull, and locked inside. Then a fire rebuilt under the bull, essentially cooking the victim alive inside of it. And it was a horrible, slow, tedious death inside this thing.
(Perillos will now show the new torture device, Victory is playing)
Narrator: After laboring long and hard, Perillos was ready to show off his invention.
(The brazen bull is made, Pharalis and his people applause)
Narrator: If he sold the king on his bull, the good life would be his to enjoy. But Phalaris was notoriously unpredictable:
(Arrival of Dementia is playing)
Narrator: When it came down to test drive the giant pressure cooker, the king didn't look too far for its first victim.
Phalaris: Guard, seize him!
(Guards force Perillos to get in the bull, Brass March To Death is playing)
Perillos: NO!!! No! Come on! Please! No! NO! NOO!!
(They close the door, lock it)
Perillos: (Sobs) Aaahh!
(They start the fire)
Narrator: Burning coals put the petal to the kettle.
-Perillos: (SCREAMS)
-Narrator: And slowly brought the temperature inside to a toga roasting. 900 degrees.
-Perillos: (Screams)
-Narrator: At 150 degrees, Perillos could barely breathe.
-Perillos: (Screams)
-Narrator: As the temperature rose about 200 degrees, his entire body which is made up of 70% water, started to boil.
(The bull finally whistles)
Narrator: Finally,
(Phalaris and his people applause for the bull whistle)
Narrator: his death knell came in the form of a high-pitched whistle.
(Spooky Ending is playing)
Phalaris: (Laughs of joy)
(Future Heartbeats is playing, CGI human gets burn in the brazen bull, the blood is boiling, the brain is cooked, the skin and muscle melt, dies)
Dr. Boyd Flinders: This man died around 150 degrees inside the bull. The air got so hot that he couldn't breathe. It was actually burning his lungs. Second, most of us, were made up of water...! His blood is boiling, he's gonna explode all over the inside of that brazen bull.
(Recap of Perillos thinking, Impression Failure is playing)
Narrator: Perillos wanted more out of life.
Perillos: Γα νο τογα η παι (Ga no toga i pai!) ()
(The brazen bull is made, Pharalis and his people applause)
Narrator: He tried to impress the king
(Guards force Perillos to get in the bull)
-Perillos: NO!!!
-Narrator: and wound up
-Perillos: (SCREAMS)
-Narrator: cooking his own goose...
(The bull whistles, Phalaris and his people applause for the bull whistle)
Narrator: and that's no bull.
Phalaris: (Laughs of joy)
Cast and Interviewees[]
- Kiriakos Stavros - Perillos (lead: intended victim)
- Maged Kivars - Phalaris (lead)
- Chris Vent - Archimedes
- Richard Iacovelli - Himself (Torture Historian)
- Dr. Boyd Flinders - Himself (Surgeon)
Trivia/Goofs[]
- This is the 2nd oldest time of death that had occurred, 1st is Caved In.
- Also, because this death took place in the 6th Century BCE, out of all the deaths in Season 4, this is the oldest death in the entire season.
- This is the only death to have taken place in Greece.
- The brazen bull was only used in Athens, Greece. However, there was rumor of it being used on the island of Cicily, Italy.
- This is the only torture death where the victim was innocent.
- This death was Runner-Up B in the "Historical Death" category in the Death By Request: Special episode.
- Replaced by Trip to the Maul in the German Version.
- Phalaris was tyrant of Akragas, the actual city of Agrigento, in the region of Sicily, Italy.
- Factual Error: In actuality, Perillos survived the brazen bull after Phalaris ordered his guards to let him out, only for him to order Perillos to be thrown from a cliff, resulting in his true death.
- Perillos' real death was after being thrown out of the bull, he was thrown on a hilltop.
- In ancient legends, it was Phalaris who got roasted inside the bull, not Perillos.
- Character Error/Anachronism: If Perillos could speak Greek when praying to the gods, why does he suddenly speak English when he wanted out of the bull? For historical reference, people first began speaking modern English in the late 14th century (approximately the late 1300s), and the language was officially established in 1550. This death takes place in 560 BC, making it 2,000 years before common folk even began speaking the proper language.
- Character Error: Phalaris is presented as the "King of Athens". He wasn't named any sort of king, he was a tyrant.
Segment Nicknames[]
- Brass Bulls - The Deathies
Gallery[]
