|Way to Die #250|
|Name of the death is a pun on the words "masturbation" and "bitten"|
|Date||March 15, 2009|
|Location||Lamy, New Mexico|
| Episode this death|
was featured in
|"A New App Called Death"|
| previous death|
| next death|
"Heim-Licked (next episode)"
"Mastur-bitten", Way to Die #250, is the seventh and final death featured in the episode "A New App Called Death", which aired on April 2, 2012.
Palmer Muncie is a greedy, perverted con-man impersonating a state health inspector as part of a statewide scam. He goes to local hotels and motels on inspection days, and defrauds them with this tactic; He tells the gullible hotel owner that he works alone, before going into a room and masturbates in it to taint the area with his semen. Then, he shows the stains under a blacklight, threatening to shut their hotel down to extort money from them.
At one local motel, Palmer manages to swindle the employees and get a free night. That night, he goes to sleep with his blacklight still glowing. It would soon be clear that the motel Palmer scammed would need a real health inspection. Little did he know, is that the room he managed to weasel his way into was infested with Arizona bark scorpions (which glow under a blacklight). The scorpions crawled onto Palmer's bed before stinging him, with the venom shutting down his autonomic nervous system, killing him instantly.
"Palmer was a disgusting pervert who squeezed himself...and then motel owners. After a tiring day of self abuse, he had a nice sleep...and then a bite. Ta-ta, freak!"
- Black Light Scorpions (on the Spike TV website)
- The Arizona bark scorpion is the most poisonous species of scorpion in North America.