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"Ichiboned", Way to Die #1, is the second death to be featured in "Death Be Not Stupid", which aired on March 15, 2009.

Plot[]

A young Japanese couple named Hiroto and Sakura have been married for seven years and are very much in love with each other. However, they have never engaged in sexual activity, as both are too nervous to do so. One day, the two finally decide to set their anxieties aside and consummate their marriage. That evening, Hiroto returns home back from work, and the two take a drink of some plum wine. Gaining courage from consuming the alcohol, the couple take it to the bedroom. This time, there is no holding back, as Hiroto and Sakura experienced orgasms during their first and final occasion of sexual intercourse in their lives. After their simultaneous climax, they succumb to heart attacks and die peacefully in their sleep, sending them to heaven.

Transcript[]

(Melancholic Dead is playing)

Hiroto: たぶ...多分、今日なら... (Tabu...Tabun, kyou nara...) (Ma...Maybe, today...)

Narrator: Meet Hiroto and Sakura.

(They try to kiss, but they are bit nervous)

Narrator: Their love for each other was without equal. But they had a big problem: After 7 years of marriage, there was still unable to consummate their union. And it's not like they didn't try, they did. Hundreds of times.

(The couple uses paper bag to relax themselves)

Narrator: But it always ended the same way: Both of them on the edge of their bed, on the verge of passing out, from hyperventilating.

([] is playing)

Narrator: The intensity of their feeling frighten the young couple. And they were always pull back and hold off sex for another day.

(Body Science is playing)

Dr. Ava Cadell: When I have couples come to see me for counseling from the press cultures, I always stop them off... with... very gentle foreplay.

(Sakura cleans the table, Hiroto brings a wine bottle)

Dr. Ava Cadell: And so within 6 weeks, they are able to have sexual intercourse. But it leads up to it, it doesn't all happen at once.

Hiroto: 乾杯。(Kanpai.) (Cheers.)

Sakura: 乾杯。(Kanpai.) (Cheers.) (Giggles)

Narrator: Then one day, Hiroto came home from work. Determine to seal the deal with his sweet Sakura. After a bottle of plum wine, they were ready to give it another shot.

(Vudu Dead is playing)

Hiroto: よし、行こう。(Yoshi, ikou.) (Okay, let's go.)

(Now, they are ready to have sex)

Narrator: This time, there was no holding back. Locked together as one, they were heading to the promise land.

(As their engage goes fast, they're having heart attack, De-Coffinated (Reconstructed) is playing)

Narrator: Sadly, it was a case of too much, too soon. The young couple locked eyes, then passed out, dead, in their lover's bed from heart attacks.

Dr. Ava Cadell: Not having sex for years can have a negative effect on the heart, because the heart is not used to it. You know, you have to build up your stamina.

(Replay of the young couple having sex)

Narrator: It might have been their special love had only a one-way door to ecstasy. Because Hiroto and Sakura, hit the G-spot bullseye. The big O, and died, never to return from their simultaneous orgasmic bliss. Tragic? Maybe. But of all the 1000 Ways to Die,

(The couple succumbs to death, together)

Narrator: this one gets our highest ranking. Ichiban. Number One.

Trivia[]

  • Even though "Ichi-boned" isn't the first death to be aired, this way to die gets the show's highest rating out of the rest, "Ichi-ban" ("number one").
  • Despite being #1, it is not the first death in the series. The first death in the series is Semi-cide
  • Ironically, this is also not the first death of the episode, the first death of the episode is Gas-Hole.
  • Based on an urban legend of a shy Japanese couple named Sachi and Tomio Hidaka, waited 14 year to consummate their marriage. They could barely make eye contact when fully clothed. Neighbors said they were very much in love, but more in regard to spirituality and mutual respect. Sachi wrote in her diary, "Tomio and I are very much afraid but it's now or never. Tonight is the night." But the night turned deadly as they both had orgasms, and died, since their hearts were not able to cope with the levels of adrenaline and other hormones released.
  • This death is perhaps the least violent in the entire series, and also one of the most plausible.
  • This death is at the top of the list being Way to Die #1.
  • Ichiban is also the name of a famous Japanese restaurant.
  • This Is the First death to Take Place In Japan.
  • Despite Ichiboned being WTD #1 it was only ranked #25 on Top 100 Deaths with the death Bank Ruptured getting #1.
  • This is the lowest death (by number) the third is She-Manned and the second is Harry He-Done-Y.

Cast and Interviewees[]

Segment Nicknames[]

  • Love at First Strike

Foreign names[]

  • Éxtasis Mortal (Deadly Ecstasy) - Latin American dub
  • Polvazo (Polvo is a Spanish verb for "have sex") - Spanish dub
  • Ichiban (Japanese for "One") - Mexican dub
  • Herzschmerz (Heart Pain) - German dub
  • Seks po japońsku (Sex in Japanese) - Polish voice-over

Gallery[]

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