1000 Ways To Die Wiki
Register
Advertisement


"Hats All Folks!", Way to Die #501, is the first death featured in the Season 3 finale "If You're Dead – Leave a Message and We'll Get Back to You", which aired on January 5, 2011.

Plot[]

Barnaby, a hat maker and salesman in the 1800s, took the phrase "Mad as a Hatter" literally, when he wore his own hat and began acting stark-raving mad toward his customers. When Barnaby's first customer arrived, he screamed, and stabbed his own hand. He also made another customer wear a woman's hat before calling him a "swine". Barnaby then slapped his face and sent him out. He even had delusions of seeing his customers act mad themselves, even though they actually weren't. There's actually a reason why Barnaby along with other hatters at the time acted mad. The hatters had glue that contained mercury that was used in felting the hats and when they breathed in the vapors from the boiling glue, it resulted in them suffering from mercury poisoning. In Barnaby's case, his years of exposure to the toxic mercury fumes compromised his nervous system, resulting in severe brain damage, erratic behavior and hallucinations. Not only did he lose his mind and his customers... he also lost his life.

Transcript[]

The script it not yet finished

(In Millinery, Connecticut)

Narrator: Okay "1000 ways" fans, let's play a game. We'll pretend you've actually spent time reading books. Sooner or later, you would have come across the phrase "Mad as a Hatter". And you would have said to yourself "Self, I wonder where that phrase came from".

(a customer walks into the store as the hat maker, Barnaby, enters through the curtains)

Narrator: Here to answer that question is Barnaby, a Connecticut hat maker in the late 1800s.

Customer: Excuse me sir, I need to have my hat refitted. Could you do that for me?

(Barnaby screams at the customer)

Narrator: Barnaby was, to put it bluntly, out of his freaking mind.

(Barnaby stabs himself in the hand with a pin and laughs)

(Barnaby sees his customer's face deformed, waving)

Barnaby: SWINE!!

(Barnaby slaps the customer)

Barnaby: OUT! OUT!

Narrator: Finally, with his brain fried, his immune system shutting down, and his major organs damaged beyond repair, the mad hatter once known as Barnaby... closed shop. Forever.

Female customer: (Screams)

Narrator: For Barnaby, making hats was a living, but the making made him mad. He lost his mind, his customers, and his health. And then... it made him dead.

Cast and Interviewees[]

  • Cameron J Oro - Barnaby (lead:intended victim)
  • Unknown Actress - Female Customer (lead/uncredited)
  • Salvador Romero - Custom Hat Maker
  • Drew Badger​ - Toxicologist

Trivia[]

  • The name this death was punned on, "That's All, Folks!" may indicate that the episode that featured this death is the last episode of the season. It was also the first episode out of three that used that pun, with the later two being Bats All Folks, and Vat's All Folks.
    • It also could be punned after the phrase from Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies at the end of every cartoon.
SWINE

SWINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Foreign names[]

  • Eso es todo, Sombero (That's all, Hat) - Latin American dub
  • Sombrero Amercuriano (Amercurian Hat) (wordplay between American and Mercury) - Spanish dub
Hats All Folks! - screenshot
Advertisement