"Half-Offed", Way to Die #745, is the first death to be featured in "Death Be a Lady Tonight", which aired on July 25, 2011.
Plot
Ted was a middle-aged, well-dressed, arrogant, executive who was a big shot blowhard. On this day, he is filled with impatience and anxiety, because he was late for the airport, since his employee forgot to make a wake-up call for him at the hotel. His impatience grew when he had to wait in line for a taxi, while furiously berating his incompetant employee. Minutes later, Ted stole a cab from a woman in front of him. The bellhop notices this and orders the rude man to let the woman take the cab, but Ted, being the entitled man that he is, claims that the ride is rightfully his. While Ted is arguing with the bellhop and pleading his case, he fails to notice a utility truck passing by with a tow line swinging loose. Ted, confident that his valiant acts of arrogance paid off, closes the trunk smugly. The hook got caught in the cab's trunk as Ted closed it, and the steel cable pins a surprised Ted to the cab. The businessman frantically struggles to get free, but to no avail. The cable tightens around a bewildered and frightened Ted, and slices clean through his portly body. The witnesses are shocked, but some are satisfied as this strong, brash, inconsiderate oaf is cut into two.
"Ted was a major douche, who badgered and bullied people he'd ever acted with. Waiting your turn is for losers, not him. A nicer person might have offered to share that cab. But instead, Ted went halvsies."
Interviewees
- Marc Fogel - NYC Taxi Driver
- Dr. Khyber Zaffarkhan - Physical Medicine & Rehab
Trivia
- Also called "Taxi Scab" on the Spike TV website.
Foreign names
- Abierto En Medio (Open in half) - Latin American dub.
- Demediado (Halved) - Spanish dub.