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Gratefully Dead

"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 18.

Originally aired January 13, 2010.

Title reference: A pun on the folk-rock band Grateful Dead.

-- This is the Original Episode --

Mercury in Uranus

Way to Die #599

On July 28, 1979, in Norman, OK. A frequent hospital patient who pleasures himself by sticking common objects up his anus returns when he claims to have gotten a shampoo bottle stuck in his rectum by slipping in the shower. While left alone after the bottle is removed, he finds a drawer containing glass rectal mercury thermometers and shoves nine of them taped together up his anus. When startled by the doctor, the man jumps back on the bed and breaks the thermometers while they are still inside of him, causing internal bleeding and mercury poisoning.

Alt names - Thermometers of Terror

Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Death By Request -- Runner Up B".

A Turn For The Purse

Way to Die #297

On October 9, 2003, in Dallas, TX. A stripper living in a suburban town has her purse stolen by a mugger on a bicycle, who threatens her with a screwdriver. A nearby man sees the mugger and goes after him. The mugger speeds away, but hits his bike on a rock and flies onto a lawn, where he impaled on his screwdriver through his heart. The stripper then takes her purse back and calmly walks away.

Alt names - Invasion of the Purse Snatcher

Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".

Dead Weight

Way to Die #102

On March 9, 2002, in Newton, MA. A drunk weightlifter makes a bet with his workout partner that he can lift a 350 pound I-beam he found at a construction site, but ends up dropping it on his chest after losing his grip, crushing his windpipe.

Alt names - Crushed

Cult Evaded

Way to Die #310

On September 20, 2000, in Encino, CA. A teenaged girl who has been in foster homes for most of her life is taken in by an extremely devout Christian couple. On her first day living with them, they are immediately convinced that she is possessed by the Devil because of her tattoos, piercings, dark make-up, and interest in the Goth subculture (including having a boyfriend who is Goth), so they and two friends from their church try to exorcise her by tying her to the ground inside an enclosed tent and burning a large amount of coal and incense to rid her of the alleged demons inside her. As the coal and incense create more smoke inside the tent, everyone (except for her, who was so low to the ground that she had a layer of fresh air above her) drops dead from carbon monoxide inhalation. She then unties herself and happily heads off to the mall, unfazed over their deaths.

Smoke A Doped

Way to Die #463

On October 14, 1997, in Newark, DE. A man refuses to have sex with his sex addict girlfriend unless she quits smoking. The woman finds a box of nicotine patches in her bathroom and puts a month's worth of them all over her body, thinking they will make her break her addiction overnight. However, the excess of nicotine overloads her system and she dies of cardiac arrest.

Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".

Two Stoopid

Way to Die #655

On March 15, 2005, in Portland, ME and Reno, NV. This episode features two deaths in one, and both take place at the same time but in different states:

  1. A man attempts to create a new "sport" by tying a mattress to his friend's truck and holding on to it. The rope holding the mattress comes loose and the man falls off the truck at a fast speed, hitting the desert ground and breaking most of his ribs.
  2. A man attempts to bungee jump off a cherry picker. However the rope he's using is too long and he smacks the pavement below him and breaks his ribs.

Alt names - Double Death

Cream-ated

Way to Die #204

On August 20, 2008, La Crosse, WI. A man who suffered mental and sexual abuse from his sadistic uncle in a cow costume develops a fetish for drinking milk straight from a cow's udders. On this particular occasion, he is kicked in the head when he accidentally bites the cow's teat, and dies when his brain bleeds out inside his skull.

Alt names - Cow-Punked


Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.

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