Way to Die #780
"Critter In The S****er"
Name of the death is a pun on a Dr. Seuss rhyme scheme of the events.
Critter in the S****er
Date January 18, 2004
Location Richmond, Virginia
Episode this death
was featured in
"Enter the Ferret"
previous death
next death

"Critter in the S****er", Way to Die #780, is the first death featured in "Enter the Ferret", which aired on March 12, 2012.


A Scottish man named Reggie enters a "ferret legging" contest at a ferret festival (Ferret Legging involves having live ferrets inserted into one's pants, which are then sealed and whoever endures it the longest wins). Reggie is immediately the last man standing when the other two contestants run off the stage shortly after having the ferrets inserted into their pants. Reggie attempts to break the world record time, but cheats in the process by learning that starved ferrets become docile to preserve energy. Hours later, there was less audience in the crowd, just one drunk man. A swollen hemorrhoid bursts in his rectum shortly before he is about to break the record, waking up one of the ferrets who crawl inside of his rectum, and begins to feed on the hemorrhoid, killing Reggie from excessive bleeding.

"Dinner is served."

"Reggie went looking for a record. The ferrets went looking for blood. Final score: Ferrets won, Reggie done."


  • Glen McDougal
  • Dr. Jeffrey Lake

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