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Coffin Nailed

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Way to Die #150
"Coffin Nailed"
Name of the death is a pun on "coffin nail"
Coffin Nailed
"Mason now became the thing he craved most: a cold and lifeless corpse. Go to hell, you freak!"
Date January 13, 1989
Location Cold Spring, Kentucky
Episode this death
was featured in
"Up With Death"
Deaths
previous death
"Dill D'oh!"
next death
"Crack Piped"

"Coffin Nailed", Way to Die #150, is the fourth death to be featured in "Up With Death", which aired on December 16, 2009.

Plot

Mason never had a steady job until he got one with the county morgue. He loved his job knowing that he has a fetish to have sex with dead women. In other words, he is a necrophile. On the day of the funeral for his latest stiffie, Mason drives on his way to the funeral home so that he could bring the dead woman for cremation. The problem is, Mason mistakenly forgot to lock the wheels of the gurney holding the casket. Late for the funeral, Mason takes a shortcut through a parking lot and when a car comes out in front of him, Mason quickly slams on the van's brakes. Mason avoided colliding with the other driver, but not the casket colliding with him; the accident causes the casket to fling forward and hit him in the back of the head, severing his brainstem, pushing him through the windshield and slicing up his skin; following his loss of consciousness, Mason was dead within seconds of crashing and was sent to hell he deserved.

"Go to hell, you freak!"

Trivia

  • This death is loosely based off on Marciana Silva Barcelos, except she wasn't a pervert like Mason. On November 11th, 2008 in Rio Grande do Sul, Brazil - Barcelos, 67, was a passenger in the hearse carrying the body of her husband, Josi Silveira Coimbra, who had died the day before. Suddenly, a speeding Alfa Romeo car struck the back of the hearse. Dislodged by the accident, Josi’s coffin hurtled forward and smashed into the back of Marciana’s neck, killing her instantly.
  • This death actually happened on January 13, 1989. Jack Volkering, 59, of Fort Wright, was returning from a funeral Mass on Wednesday when a car driven by Lonnie Stephens, 23, of Bellevue crossed the road and struck the hearse. The casket broke through a metal holding post and struck Volkering in the back as the dashboard and steering wheel hit him in the chest.

Goofs

  • Anachronism: Despite this segment being set in 1989, the cars (including the Ford E250, which generation in the segment was created in 1992) are recent models thus completely inconsistent for the time period this skit is set in.
  • Crew or Equipment Visible: As we're given the aftermath of Mason's demise, the cameraman is reflected on the van.

Foreign names

  • Ataúd Asesino (Killer Coffin) - Latin American dub.
  • Jodido por el Ataúd (F****d by the Coffin) - Spanish dub.
  • Eingesargt (Put in the Coffin) - German dub

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