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1000 Ways to Die -- Season 4

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Season 4Edit

Note: starting with this episode, the death stories go through 2-3-2 mode per episode rather than 2-2-2-1 mode. Also, the trivia segments were added between commercial breaks.

P.S.: These bad words are very dangerous on some segments and some details.

Episode 39: The One About Dumb People DyingEdit

Originally aired February 8, 2011

Title reference: Spoofs the episode titles of the TV series Friends.

Death # "Event" Name Date of Death Location Circumstances of Death
331 Wet Dream (Note: This is the second death to be given this name; This segment is otherwise known as "Bed Wetting") January 1, 1986 Manhattan, NY A man, who spent New Year's Eve at a party, snorting cocaine, donning women's clothes, and seducing two women into having sex with him, wakes up the next day, half-naked, smeared in make-up, and strapped to his water bed. As he screams, he kicks his stiletto-heeled feet, puncturing his water bed, which then leaks. The man keeps struggling until all the water from the leaking mattress engulfs him and he drowns.
755 Mary Lou Rectum (a.k.a. Lady and the Trampoline) February 12, 2010 Colorado Springs, CO A very bitter gymnast who lost her chances at being an Olympic star and her beleaguered partner practice in the gym for a Las Vegas show. After belittling her colleague on her trampoline skills, she attempts to dismount off the trampoline herself. Unfortunately, she lands on top of one of the supports for the parallel bars (which was left out by a worker trying to fix the bars) between her rectum and vaginal opening and fatally impales herself.
365 Kung Pao Pow!!! (a.k.a. Exploding Wang) May 10, 2003 Tianjin, China A Chinese crematorium worker steals the gold teeth from the body of a man who supposedly died from getting struck by lightning. In reality, the man was killed when a weather rocket launched in order to bring rain to drought-damaged land failed to detonate, fell back to Earth, and struck him in the chest. Once the cremation furnace is started, the rocket's explosive charge ignites and blows the hatch off with enough force to decapitate the worker.
513 Hot Shot Part D'uh (a.k.a. Ultimate Energy Drink) April 2, 2006 Phoenix, AZ A couple return to their hotel room after stealing luggage from an airport. The man finds what appears to be a bottle of expensive rum in one of the cases (which belonged to a drug smuggler) and takes a drink, unaware it is actually liquid cocaine (a mixture of cocaine and kerosene). After drinking the concoction, the man suffers spikes in adrenaline and blood pressure and dies from cardiac arrest.
701 Steward-death (a.k.a Unfriendly Skies) April 9, 1998 30,000 Feet Over The Pacific An extremely irritable and apathetic flight attendant on her last flight before retirement annoys others with her rude behavior. Suddenly, the top of the plane (which was weakened from years of metal fatigue) cracks and the attendant is sucked out from explosive decompression. As she falls, the flight attendant is exposed to high-speed winds that shred her skin, suffocates from the atmosphere's lack of oxygen, and freezes from the extreme cold of being 30,000 feet in the air, dying before landing in the ocean.
274 Squirreled Away (a.k.a When Animals A-Taxidermy) May 3, 2003 Cooper's Creek, GA A taxidermist, who regularly eats the meat of the animals he kills, dines on squirrel meat (served rare) without realizing that the animal was infected with rabies. He contracts the virus, which invades his brain and causes him to die a slow, painful death over the course of several days.
870 Fatally Gourd (a.k.a. Pumpkin Die) October 12, 2007 Moorpark, CA A man and his buddies go pumpkin chunking using a homemade pumpkin cannon at his farm. Meanwhile, another man is attempting to steal pumpkins from the farm across the field where the pumpkins are supposed to land. One of the pumpkins from the cannon makes contact with the thief, and the stem of the pumpkin impales his heart, killing him instantly.

Episode 40: Getting A Rise From The DeadEdit

Originally aired February 16, 2011

Title reference: A zombie-related event in this episode (See "Way to Die #209").

Death # "Event" Name Date of Death Location Circumstances of Death
298 Sign Offed (a.k.a. Spin Head) September 21, 2005 Ocean Beach, CA A sign spinner has been showing off his skills to impress a beautiful barista at a nearby coffeehouse. When a rival spinner shows up across the street, the two start trying to outdo each other and win the barista's attention. After the first spinner nearly gets hit by a passing car, he accidentally slashes his jugular vein with the edge of his sign (now jagged from repeated hits against the pavement) and bleeds to death.
512 Chef Boy-R-Dead (a.k.a. Et Tu Fay) March 14, 2004 New York, NY A sous-chef works hard to gain the trust of her domineering chef in an attempt to steal his PDA, which contains his recipes. When the chef leaves for the night, the sous-chef steals the PDA from his pocket. Hearing a noise, the sous-chef drops the PDA and squeezes herself inside the restaurant's dishwasher. The chef returns, gets his PDA, and leaves again. Soon afterward, another employee turns the machine on, spraying the sous-chef with hot water that scalds her to death.
209 Par for the Corpse (a.k.a. Skin Game) October 29, 2009 Eugene, OR In a parody of grindhouse-style zombie horror movie trailers, a teenage couple making out in a cemetery are scared off by a sickly, shambling man thought to be a zombie. The narrator then explains that the "zombie" is actually a cemetery groundskeeper with little respect for the dead suffering from a fatal allergic reaction to the fungicide he sprayed on the cemetery grass (which he unknowingly ingested by way of chewing on the golf tees he had in his mouth while using the cemetery as his personal golf course).
206 Dip N' Die (a.k.a. Tongue in Cheek) April 8, 2007 Arizona Border A illegal immigrant-hunting vigilante is driving along the border, chewing tobacco. His truck suddenly hits a rock, causing him to bite his tongue while chewing tobacco, which triggers a bout of erectile glossitis and causes the man to choke on his swelling tongue.
178 Dead Fella (a.k.a. Rico-Chet) September 19, 2004 Atlantic City, NJ Two mobsters attempt to kill a third mobster who plans on testifying against them in court. They stand in front of his car at opposite sides and attempt to shoot through the windshield. However, the car has been outfitted with bulletproof glass, and one shooter's bullet ricochets into the other's carotid artery, killing him.
555 Double-O-Severed (a.k.a. I Spy A Spy's Eye) May 6, 2007 New York, NY A spy committing corporate espionage climbs down a hotel's air duct to install a listening device outside the room which an important meeting is to take place there. His assistant nephew accidentally turns on the duct's fan, which catches the spy's rope and winds it up. He bleeds to death when the fan blades sever his legs.
441 Snakenstein (a.k.a. One Deadly Bite) December 2, 1937 Berlin, Germany An unethical scientist interested in reanimation is only able to bring animal parts back to life, using chemicals and electric current. When he experiments on a rattlesnake carcass, a spasm in its muscles causes the fangs to drive into his neck, injecting him with a lethal dose of venom.

Episode 41: Ready Or Not, Here Comes DeathEdit

Originally aired February 23, 2011

Title reference: Play-on words for the phrase used in the popular hide-and-seek game.

Death # "Event" Name Date of Death Location Circumstances of Death
231 Asphyxi-Asian (a.k.a. Afrigat-D'oh) August 12, 2006 Tokyo, Japan The narrator channel-surfs through a nature show and a home-shopping channel until he stops on a Japanese game show challenge featuring a conniving female contestant donning scuba gear and swimming through hoops while collecting cantaloupe. The female contestant dies of breathing in truck exhaust that wasn't filtered out of her oxygen tank and ends up drowning. The narrator points out that a story like that would make a great entry for 1000 Ways to Die.
246 Par-Gore March 15, 2004 Detroit, MI While racing up the outside of a building with his friends, an arrogant parkour-obsessed teen pushes one of them out of the way in order to win. On the roof, he rolls to recover from his last jump and impales his neck on an exposed pipe, severing his spinal cord and paralyzing the muscles that control breathing.
149 Dill D'oh! (a.k.a. Quite the Pickle) December 5, 2006 Kansas City, MO A retired chemistry teacher who was sent to a nursing home by his greedy children who had him declared incapable of caring for himself just so they could get his money does demonstrations for the other residents (despite being reprimanded by a mean-spirited nursing home aide), including one in which he uses a pickle to form a crude light. When the mean nursing home aide grabs the equipment to confiscate it, he completes a circuit that sends an electric shock through his heart and stops it.
671 Boobicide (a.k.a. Racked) February 27, 2000 Hoboken, NJ A vain stripper suffering from back problems from her polypropylene breast implants takes oxycodone and alcohol to relieve her pain. She then climbs into a reclining rack and flips herself upside-down to further relax her back. The stripper suffocates from her breasts falling on her face and being too intoxicated to react or right herself in time.
677 Boweled Out (a.k.a. Swing Away) June 13, 2005 Youngstown, OH A softball player's abdominal hernia flares up during a game, so he pushes it back into place and keeps playing, not realizing that he has ruptured a nearby artery. On his next swing, the hernia erupts again and he dies from internal bleeding.
412 (Note: sixth death to be given this number.) Goon Interrupted (a.k.a. Chutes and Splatters) December 18, 1998 Mental Hospital A hitman feigns insanity and is sent to a mental hospital after his trial for murder. He then attempts to escape from his fifth-floor ward by climbing down a laundry chute, but the weight of the laundry dumped onto him from higher floors causes him to lose his grip. He falls 50 feet and lands on a concrete floor, suffering multiple injuries and dying instantly.
428 Doggie Styled (a.k.a. Dynamite Dog) March 29, 1997 Chester, GA Two drunk duck hunters throw a lit stick of dynamite into a clump of bushes to flush out some ducks. Their dog, a yellow labrador retriever (who is telling the story), instinctively fetches the stick and brings it back, then runs off after an offscreen squirrel. The dynamite explodes, killing both hunters.

Episode 42: Grave ErrorsEdit

Originally aired March 2, 2011

Title reference: This must be the second episode to do so; which was saying "Unforced Errors".

Death # "Event" Name Date of Death Location Circumstances of Death
786 Curl Up And Die (a.k.a. Hair Die) November 1, 1972 Beverly Hills, CA A hairstylist, known for seducing his female clients with Quaaludes and vodka and still under the influence of the cocktail from a fling moments before, begins to work on his next client. The hairstylist passes out from the drugs and lands on the floor with his neck on top of a heated curling iron. As the curling iron burns through the man's neck, the dead tissue blocks his trachea and he asphyxiates.
281 Who Ded? (a.k.a. Sore Looters) September 16, 2005 New Orleans, LA Two college-aged women disguised as disaster relief workers for Hurricane Katrina rob a church. Upon stumbling into the flooded basement, they step into the water and are immediately electrocuted by a severed power line under the water.
151 Crack Piped (a.k.a. Tube Much Pressure) January 2, 1903 Manhattan, NY Two tunnel-working scam artists, attempting to exploit the pneumatic tubing systems of the early banks, cut one of the tubes and stuff in a block of wood to catch the money capsules. As more capsules back up in the line and pressure builds, they pull the block out, causing the pipe to explode and inflict fatal shrapnel injuries to both men.
753 Thanks A-Clot (a.k.a. Dr. Doctor) February 12, 2005 Cebu Island, Philippines A psychic surgeon who scams the sick into believing he can cure them touches the mucus of a leper with a runny nose. Some time later, he contracts leprosy, and dies of a lung clot.
594 Odds Are You're Dead (a.k.a. Morning Shift) December 3, 2004 Mercer, NJ A loan shark confronts a scissor lift operator over a debt. When operator refuses to come down, the shark cuts the hydraulic brake to the scissor lift. The lift comes crashing down on the loan shark and decapitates him.
405 Chemi-Killed (a.k.a. Down the Drain) July 31, 2003 Bethesda, MD A lab assistant, enraged by the rejection from her married co-worker who had sex with her and regretted it, goes on a rampage in the laboratory, destroying his latest experiment. She grabs a flask of sodium azide and smashes it into a sink full of water. The sodium azide converts to hydrogen azide gas, which burns the skin off her face and destroys her lungs.
327 i-Boned (a.k.a. Battery Dead) June 12, 2009 Cincinnati, OH A cell phone addict annoying and infuriating others with her chatter at a movie theater dies when the defective battery in her phone short circuits and the phone explodes, sending shrapnel into her inner ear and brain.

Episode 43: Killing Them SoftlyEdit

Originally aired March 9, 2011

Title references: Spoofs the popular song "Killing Me Softly with His Song" (or the Dave Chappelle comedy special Killing 'Em Softly).

Death # "Event" Name Date of Death Location Circumstances of Death
894 Scam Eye Am (Dead) (a.k.a. Killer Scam) March 21, 2003 Chicago, IL After a Nigerian scam artist attempts to scam a man using the "wash-wash" scheme, his intended victim catches on and runs up to the scammer's hotel room. The scam artist is standing behind the door when the victim forces it open, driving its coathook into the scammer's eye and piercing his frontal lobe.
270 Contact Die (a.k.a. Blinded Me With Science) October 10, 2006 New Britain, CT A co-ed attempting to seduce her way through chemistry class distracts her nerdy lab partner, who is mixing ammonia and hydrochloric acid. As she leans over the flask, the gas fuses her contact lenses to her eyes. As she blunders toward an emergency wash station, she trips on a cord and slides headfirst into a wall, breaking her neck.
427 Six Feet Plunder (a.k.a. Grave Danger) September 17, 2002 Harrisburg, PA A jealous man attempts to rob his wealthy brother's grave of the expensive jewelry he was buried with. After the man digs too close to the headstone, it topples on top of him, pinning him on top of his brother's body and crushing him.
465 Guns N' Noses (a.k.a. Blood Diamonds) December 14, 1992 Sierra Leone After capturing and killing a diamond smuggler, a ruthless warlord celebrates by snorting "brown-brown" (cocaine laced with nitroglycerine-laced gunpowder). The tray holding the mixture is contaminated with diamond dust; when the warlord snorts the mixture, the particles lacerate his arteries and travel to his heart, causing him to bleed to death.
95 Frequent Dier (a.k.a. Mile Die Club) November 2, 2006 Richmond, VA An overly-intimate couple on an airplane flight decide to join the mile high club after being told by the stewardess that they cannot have sex in front of the other passengers. While the couple try to get in a comfortable position in the cramped bathroom, the plane hits a pocket of turbulence and the two are thrown violently around until they die of skull fractures and a broken neck.
180 Suck & Blown (a.k.a. Suck and Blow) August 24, 2007 Atlantic City, NJ Attempting to siphon gas from a car, two men use an industrial vacuum to speed up the process. A spark from the vacuum's electric fan ignites the gas and sets off an explosion that instantly kills them both.
744 Master E-Raced (a.k.a. Dishonorable Discharge) April 11, 1945
(Technically some time in 1995.)
Starts in Nuremberg, Germany
Ends in Brooklyn, NY
A Nazi military officer is shot in the head during World War II and left for dead, but survives with the bullet becoming lodged near a major artery in his brain. Fifty years later, he bumps his head against his refrigerator, jarring the bullet enough to sever the artery and cause a fatal hemorrhage.

Episode 44: Better Them Than UsEdit

Originally aired March 16, 2011 Note: This is the fifth episode not to feature the death of a female.

Title References: The phrase "Better them than us"

Death # "Event" Name Date of Death Location Circumstances of Death
615 Macdeath (a.k.a. Peter Pan-Caked) March 16, 1999 Boise, ID A retired dot com company millionaire and current narcissistic owner of a theater assigns himself as the lead role in a play he's producing. While doing a flying scene the holster holding him up is unable to hold his weight, causing it to break. The frayed edge of the cord then unwinds and races through the system of pulleys at over 700 miles per hour, passing through the air and slashing the man's jugular vein.
368 Cloudy With a Chance of Pain (a.k.a. Rock Bottom) June 22, 2009 Moscow, Russia A Russian pimp is preparing to leave with one of his prostitutes. She gets in the car, but locks herself inside when the car is pelted with cement bricks from a failed cloud seeding operation. As the pimp struggles to get in the car, he is hit in the head by a chunk of cement and killed.
895 Pop Goes The Cholo (a.k.a. Sin-Tu bated) August 25, 2008 Albuquerque, NM Two street gang members take a third member to a back alley doctor to treat a bullet wound to the chest. The gang leader ends up pistol whipping the doctor into unconsciousness after losing patience with him. With the doctor out cold, the gang members decide to do the operation themselves, but fail after inserting the tracheal tube down the injured member's esophagus, rather than the trachea, and end up hemorrhaging the injured member's stomach by filling it with air and causing it to explode. (This death features the third instance of an interviewee being shown in shadow for criminal protection and the first time voice alteration is used, in the case of a gang doctor named Bennie Wilson)
205 Flame Retard-Ant (a.k.a. Stop, Drop And Die) July 6, 2005 Burnside, KY A pyromaniac attempts to set a tree ablaze after dousing it with gasoline. Unfortunately, he gets gasoline on his pants and ends up in flames. However, he is quick to jump into the adjacent river, but the melting of his muscles and cartilage cause shock and paralysis. The man collapses into the lake and drowns.
245 Rocky Roadkill (a.k.a. Ice Fiend Man) September 2, 2007 Riverside, CA A drug dealer doing business out of an ice cream truck is mugged by a meth addict. The driver manages to get away, but upon encountering a sharp turn, the freezer topples over and leaks chlorofluorocarbon into the truck. The dealer blacks out from inhaling the refrigerant and slams into a tree, the impact of which ruptures his aortic valve and causes death by exsanguination.
404 Straight To DVDead (a.k.a. Duel Personalities) December 6, 2005 Hollywood, CA Two men are reenacting a 1775 Revolutionary War duel for a low-budget film. One man, a former criminal-turned-wannabe actor who was passed up for the lead role, plots to kill the other, so he slips a lead ball into the gun chamber to make the death seem like an accident. However, when he fires the gun, it explodes due to an excessive amount of gunpowder, blowing his hand off and sending shrapnel into his femoral artery, and he is killed from blood loss. (based on the death of Brandon Lee but unlike this scenario Lee's attempt was successful were as the person in this scenario plan backfired).
348 My Big Fat Greek Death (a.k.a. Brass Bulls) 560 BC Athens, Greece Perillos of Athens, a metalworker, is attempting to impress King Phalaris with the unveiling of a new torture device: the brazen bull, which is meant to roast enemies that are placed inside. To test the device, Phalaris locks Perillos in the device and cooks him to death.

Episode 45: Dead Before They Know ItEdit

Originally aired March 23, 2011

Death # "Event" Name Date of Death Location Circumstances of Death
317 SP-Effed (a.k.a. Blistering Vice) April 26, 2004 Las Vegas, NV A young woman who always borrows her roommates' belongings without asking mistakes psoriasis cream for moisturizer before stepping into her roommate's new tanning bed (which no one is allowed to use). The psoralen in the cream, activated by the tanning bed's ultraviolet radiation, gives her massive second degree burns all over her body and she collapses on her horrified roommate and dies of heart failure and severe dehydration.
127 Ji-Had It Coming (a.k.a. Terrorist Wedding) September 24, 2006 Afghanistan An award-winning American reporter denounces her U.S. citizenship, converts to Islam, and marries a Taliban leader. She celebrates by firing off several rounds of an AK-47 into the air during her wedding to fit in with the crowd, but loses control of the gun and dies when one of the bullets hits a metal pitcher and ricochets into her skull, where it bounces inside and causes massive bleeding and immediately fatal wounds.
264 Crate and Buried (a.k.a. Air Maul) August 15, 2004 Darfur, Sudan Two thieves in Sudan steal supply crates needed for refugees. As the men celebrate, they suddenly get crushed to death by a falling, two-ton supply crate that had a faulty parachute.
458 Lost In Transfusion (a.k.a. Cold Blooded) May 16, 2002 Chicago, IL In order to beat a company drug test, a cocaine-addicted crane operator injects himself with blood that matches his type, stolen by his girlfriend who works as a hospital cook. However, he does not listen when she warns him to warm the blood before injecting it. He stores the blood in the refrigerator overnight before injecting it in the bathroom moments before his drug test. Once the cold blood enters his heart, the man is killed in seconds from fibrillation and tachycardia.
678 Ariva-Deadci (a.k.a. Crying Over Spilled Guts[1]) September 8, 2008 Rochester, NY A mobster on parole is granted permission to be on a work release program, but slacks off and orders his co-workers to do his work for him. When his parole officer visits him, the mobster tricks her into thinking that he is doing as he's told and moves a dumpster. However, he gets distracted when he sees his co-worker talking to his parole officer about his job performance and forgets to lock the wheels on the dumpster, which ends up rolling down the hill and pinning him against a second dumpster. The mobster is killed when the sharp end of the first dumpster punctures his abdomen and extrudes his intestines from his body.
402 Miss-ur Head (a.k.a. Off With His Head) March 6, 1925 Marseille, France A French criminal is executed via guillotine. His head is studied by a scientist out to prove that the guillotine is an inhumane form of capital punishment by showing officials that the victim who died still shows some signs of life after being decapitated. (This is one of the few deaths that is not based on stupidity or unusual circumstances. Instead, it is an experimental procedure and a means of capital punishment.)
247 Eye-Sick-Kill (a.k.a. Silent Night) November 29, 2008 Cedar Springs, MI A perverted stoner gets fired from his job as a mall Santa after two of his female elves report him for sexual harassment. As the man bangs on the door to get his boss to let him in, an icicle falls from the roof's edge. The man looks up just in time for the icicle to impale him in his eye and through his brain. (based on a similar death scene from Black Christmas).

Episode 46: Stupid Is As Death DoesEdit

Originally aired March 29, 2011

Title reference: Spoofs the saying "Stupid Is as Stupid Does". (Second episode to do so; first was "Stupid is as Stupid Dies".)

Death # "Event" Name Date of Death Location Circumstances of Death
219 Chairway to Heaven (a.k.a. Ouch Potato) November 20, 2003 Milwaukee, WI A deadbeat dad who abandoned his family to "find himself" (an act so heinous even the narrator says he wants to kill the man) gets drunk with his friend while setting up his new house, ignoring his wife and children's pleadings for him to return home. He brings in a pilot seat from a Soviet fighter jet, unaware that it still works. He pulls the lever on the seat and is launched 10 feet into the air, crushing his skull against the roof.
623 Eye Swallow (a.k.a. Socket to Me) February 14, 2008 Berkeley, CA An acrotomophiliac has sex with a woman who lost her arm in a car accident and has a glass eye. The woman puts her eye in a glass with water before continuing. When they are done, she runs to his shower and the man takes a drink from the glass with the eye, and chokes to death when he accidentally swallows her glass eye.
255 The Depart-Dead (a.k.a. Gangsta Trapped) March 25, 1991 South Boston, MA A group of white, teenage wannabe-gangstas from South Boston play a drinking game called Edward Fortyhands, in which drinkers have beer bottles taped to their hands and they cannot do anything (smoke, urinate, leave the room, etc.) until the beer bottles are empty. One of them spits a half-lit cigar under a couch, which starts burning the flammable synthetic stuffing, releasing hydrogen cyanide into the room. Because they cannot open the door, they suffocate on the fumes.
621 Spyanide April 17, 1943 Norfolk, VA A treacherous American spy working for the Nazis has a short meeting in a park. After that meeting, an American tries to return his notebook that he left behind. The spy thinks the American returning his notebook is out to get him and takes his own life by swallowing cyanide pills. (This is the first intentional suicide in the series).
126 Game Stopped (a.k.a. Game Over) October 4, 2008 Mattituck, NY A video game addict plays for 60 straight hours trying to take down his opponents and become the highest-ranked player in the world. When his last opponent, a woman, defeats him, he furiously stands up, then drops dead, unaware that his leg veins had formed clots from being sedentary for so long and now the clots had moved into his heart and lungs.
305 Moving Violation (a.k.a. The Long Haul) July 9, 1994 Evanston, IL Two ex-cons hired as moving men are helping a woman move out of her house. One of the movers steals a glass crystal flower. While packing the boxes in the truck, the van accidentally moves forward, and the man who stole the flower gets crushed by a falling box, which pushes the flower into his heart, killing him almost instantly.
193 Art Attack (a.k.a. Scrap-Nel) June 11, 2006 New York, NY A pervert posing as a French artist tries to seduce women but gets rejected by one of his targets. In a rage, he punches a "sculpture" he had made from a butterfly bomb, that sends shrapnel into the man's body and kills him.

Episode 47: That's "Mister Death" To YouEdit

Originally aired July 11, 2011

Title reference: Spoofs the title show Mister Ed.

Death # "Event" Name Date of Death Location Circumstances of Death
275 Any Given Gunday (a.k.a. One in the Oven) November 25, 2004 Los Angeles, CA A "jersey chaser" (a groupie who likes to seduce professional athletes) sleeps with a pro football player. Due to a concussion he endured during one of his games, the player wakes up with no memory of sleeping with the jersey chaser and becomes paranoid over someone out to rob him of his money (which is the reason why he has guns hidden in his house). He calms down when he finds the jersey chaser making him breakfast in the kitchen, until she turns on the stove, which contains a gun hidden inside. The gun is heated up and fires into the woman's skull, killing her instantly.
592 Descent Of A Woman (a.k.a. Mirror Mirror) October 20, 2008 Tucson, AZ A germophobe with obsessive-compulsive disorder falls off a ladder while cleaning and lands on a mirror, breaking it. One shard enters her armpit, tearing open her axillary artery but also plugging the hole; when she later pulls the shard out, the hole reopens and she quickly bleeds to death.
646 Scarf-Face (a.k.a. Skinny Boned) January 11, 2009 Pakistani Border A terrorist attempting to escape from prison abstains from eating for weeks until he is thin enough to slip through the bars of his cell door. After escaping, he gorges at a feast, and dies from refeeding syndrome.
174 Dog Dead Afternoon (a.k.a. Three Dog Night) February 10, 2006 Little Rock, AK A dog thief uses a tranquilizer dart on a pit bull. When a security guard shows up, the thief waits for him to leave, but the guard falls asleep. When the guard awakes, the thief tranquilizes him, and the guard falls in front of the gate. Simultaneously, the pitbull awakens and attacks the now trapped thief, crushing his trachea. (based on a similar scene from Suspiria).
213 Crappy Ending (a.k.a. Happily Never After) July 18, 2007 Bangkok, Thailand An American tourist visits an erotic massage parlor. During the session, however, he is unable to remain aroused and blames this on a strange buzzing sound within the walls. His frustrated masseuse removes an electrical outlet to check it out and flees in terror when an Asian giant hornet flies out and stings her client. The man kills the hornet but its pheromones attract the rest of the swarm, which proceed to sting the tourist to death.
439 Chain Gang Banged (a.k.a. Towed Away) June 23, 2007 Maricopa, AZ Two prisoners on a chain gang attempt to escape by jumping into the bed of a passing pickup truck. When the chain of their leg irons gets wrapped around the truck's hitch, they are dragged along the ground and die from blood loss and multiple bone fractures.
715 Withdrawn (a.k.a. Lock and Exp-Load) March 4, 2003 Chicago, IL A robber with a C-4 bomb collar around his neck holds up a bank, pretending to be a victim who was forced by other criminals to do it. As the police confront the man and try to help him, a shaken teller flees for her car, unlocking it with her wireless key. Since the wireless key and the bomb's detonator were set to the same frequency, the robber's head explodes.(based on the death of Brian Douglas Wells)

Episode 48: Death, The New BlackEdit

Aired July 18, 2011

Death # "Event" Name Date of Death Location Circumstances of Death
147 Splat-Formed (a.k.a. Dead as Disco) September 5, 1977 Harlem, NY A cocaine dealer, who was also addicted to the drug he sold, goes to a disco to show off his moves and have fun. When he trips in his platform shoes, the spearheaded end of his male symbol necklace pierces his jugular vein, and he bleeds to death faster than normal due to the cocaine and dancing giving him a rapid heartbeat.
325 Who Fart-Dead? (a.k.a. Hot Boxed) November 10, 2008 Seattle, WA A group of sorority pledges enter a sauna contest, in which the one who can stay in the longest gets to skip Hell Week. One pledge has been eating beans and broccoli for a week, giving herself severe gas. Her continuous farting forces all the other pledges to flee the sauna in disgust, but before she can get out, she dies from dehydration, high body core temperature, and second/third degree burns all over her body.
237 Him-Paled (a.k.a. Rubbed Out) May 10, 2008 Philadelphia, PA A pervert uses his camera phone to get upskirt photos of women. While standing behind a woman (who is wearing a skirt with no underwear) at a streetside coffee vendor, the woman freaks out and the construction worker standing next to her goes to beat up the pervert. Meanwhile, another construction worker 8 stories up trips over a sandbag and lets go of a piece of rebar with falls from the sky and impales the pervert from his shoulder through his side, impaling his heart. (This features the fourth instance of an interview being kept in shadow for criminal protection and the first of a possible fake name for a voyeur named Thomas J. Peepus.)
309 Jablowni (a.k.a. Rafted) June 2, 2006 West Deptford, New Jersey An arrogant twenty-something bodybuilder orders his beleaguered girlfriend to inflate a pool raft. After she gets fed up and quits, he inflates the raft with flammable tire sealant and throws it in the pool. Once he climbs on he lowers his arm and the cigarette makes contact with the raft and explodes due to the ashes popping the raft and igniting the tire sealant. The man is thrown from the explosion into the air and come back down smashing through the water, cracking his skull and causing brain hemorrhage.
213 (Note: second death to be given this number) Ass-Hoppered (a.k.a. Bake Out) April 20, 2010 Humboldt County, CA Two men in rural California attempt to grow marijuana for money, but end up smoking their stash. The two get "the munchies," but having no food, one man decides to eat a grasshopper. Unknowingly allergic to a protein in the bug's exoskeleton, he goes into anaphylactic shock and dies when his throat swells shut.
497 Ball Sacked (a.k.a. Sports Nut) October 3, 2007 Coalville, WV An angry football coach has been reduced to working at a small-town high school after being fired for cheating. As he tries to toughen up his players in an outlawed "Bull Ring" drill, the coach is hit by a player, stumbles from the hit and into the path of a kicker's kick, which hits him in the groin. The kicker was given lead insets in his cleats just before practice and the force of the kick causes the coach's pelvis to shatter and a piece of bone to lodge into his kidneys and give him a fatal case of septic shock.
306 Big Boned (a.k.a. Crushed by the Competition) December 17, 2004 Reno, NV Two drunken insurance salesmen crash a beauty pageant for plus-sized women. One of the men heckles the contestants by mooing and making fat jokes. The three finalists step out on the end of the runway (which was not meant to hold their weight) to yell at him. The runway support snaps and all three women (who, when combined, weigh 997 pounds) fall on the heckler and crush him to death.

Episode 49: Death Be a Lady TonightEdit

Aired July 25, 2011

Title reference: Spoofs the popular jazz standard song "Luck Be a Lady". In addition to this, three of the casualties are females.

Death # "Event" Name Date of Death Location Circumstances of Death
745 Half-Offed (a.k.a. Taxi-Scab) July 15, 2001 Reno, NV An obnoxious impatient executive bullies his way through a taxi line and steals the cab from a woman with several bags, demanding the ride is his. As he's arguing with the woman and the bellhop, a tow truck speeds by with a loose hook and the hook gets caught in the taxi's trunk, pinning the man against the cab and quickly slicing him in half and severing his spinal cord, bisecting him.
459 Smoke Stalked (a.k.a. Look Who's Stalking) March 8, 2004 Holbrook, AZ A psychotic ex-girlfriend stalks her newly-married boyfriend and his happy wife to the point that her invasions become threatening. Desperate to take their minds off the stalker, the couple go on vacation, during which the stalker tries to break in through the chimney and gets stuck. Trapped for a week, she slowly dies of a mix of starvation, dehydration, and suffocation until her body's finally freed by her returning boyfriend, noticing her corpse is preventing him from starting a fire in the flue.
619 Sudden Death (a.k.a. Last Call) July 21, 2006 Emmett, MI A fantasy football fanatic annoys everyone at a sports bar with his repeated yells at players and shouting out how many points they gained or cost him in his fantasy league. When he tries to change the shown game to another more favorable one, he triggers a bar fight and manages to slip off, only for a piece of a shattered beer mug to fly towards him and pierce through his neck, slicing his jugular vein and carotid artery, causing him to bleed to death within moments.
271 Raider of the Lost Narc (a.k.a. Achin' Ambulance) February 22, 2002 Sterling, CO A junkie, desperate for her fix, calls in a bogus 911 call, sending a hospital's paramedics speeding out. Hiding behind a dumpster and watching the ambulances head out, she quickly rushes in through the open garage door and pockets several bottles of morphine before trying to rush back out through the closing door. But, dropping one of the bottles, she reaches back to try to retrieve it and is crushed by the garage door, which had a broken safety shutoff switch.
324 Bats All Folks (a.k.a. Gone Batty!) May 22, 2005 Hohhot, China An unscrupulous antiquities trader and tomb raider sneaks into a cave and steals a 1,000-year-old warrior statue, only to awaken a colony of bats. One of the bats bites the tomb raider in the neck, infecting him with the SARS virus, which kills him two weeks later.
257 Pimp My Death (a.k.a. Curtain Call Girl) April 3, 2005 Washington, D.C. A hooker charms her way into a desperate married man's hotel room on the pretense of finding him attractive. But when she reveals her profession and insists on $2,000 for the night, the man refuses to pay leading to her calling her pimp. When the man arrives, she uses their confrontation as a chance to take the $2,000 from the man's wallet, then tries to hide in the bathroom to be able to make her getaway, only for her boss to shove the man into her, causing her to fall into the edge of a marble sink and split her head open. (This features the fifth instance of an interviewee being kept in shadow for criminal protection in the case of an escort named Natasha Noriega)
370 Drone Boned (a.k.a. Predator Drone Attack) November 5, 2008 Korengal Valley, Afghanistan A pair of terrorists who have killed American soldiers with rifles and homemade bombs hide out in an abandoned building. Meanwhile in Nevada, an American pilot (and former video game master) uses a predator drone to flush out the terrorists. The drone finds its way into the abandoned building and fires a missile at its target. The missile explodes, blowing up the two terrorists, and leaving nothing left but a severed hand.

Episode 50: Today's Special: Death Edit

Aired August 1, 2011

Death # "Event" Name Date of Death Location Circumstances of Death
406 Weld Done (a.k.a. All's Hell That Ends Weld) May 25, 2009 Scranton, PA A woman lies about her welding experience so she can get a job. When her boss discovers she had lied, he fires the woman. To prove her welding ability, she welds her boss's car door shut and runs to her van. But she accidentally places her welding gear with the nozzle opened, filling the van with flammable gas. When she unlocks the van, the electric car battery causes a spark which ignites the gas inside the van and explodes on her.
450 That's A Morte! (a.k.a. Lust Poisoning) June 25, 1580 Verona, Italy An Italian statesman suspects his wife of being unfaithful and puts her in a chastity belt to keep other men away from her. One of the woman's lovers comes up with a plan to slip off the chastity belt by soaking her in a tub of oil and water. The belt comes off and the two have sex. This process is repeated for several days, causing scratches on the woman's skin from the rust, which gives her a fatal tetanus infection.
412 (seventh death to be given this number) Gang Banged (a.k.a. Hit Me Baby) September 8, 1928 Little Italy, NY A son of a black market booze dealer enters a steam room in a bathhouse with a gun hidden under a towel in order to kill the person who shot his father in the head. Two men inside the room seem to recognize the gunman, so one man asks his name. After the gunman reveals his name, he pulls out the gun, but slips on the seat and fires a bullet into a steam pipe. The man falls in front of the leaking steam pipe, which sends steam heated to Template:Convert onto him. The steam melts half of his face, and he dies in minutes/seconds. (NOTE: This segment is otherwise known as "Dead Bang")
326 Smother-In-Law (a.k.a. Monster-In-Law Knows Worst) March 5, 2007 Muncie, OH A meddlesome, shrewish, overweight mother-in-law angers her son's wife by nagging her about her son's food preferences. After getting slapped in the face, the wife leaves the kitchen. The mother-in-law tries to take a frozen pizza out of the freezer, but the box is wedged between other groceries, and the force of the mother-in-law's tugging sends the refrigerator crashing down on her. The sharp end of the freezer door pierces her throat while the rest of the refrigerator crushes her body.
618 DWI: Dying While Intoxicated (a.k.a. Mow-ing Violation) December 9, 2003 Palm Springs, CA A drunk divorcee is chosen by her equally drunk and equally divorced friends to go to the liquor store for more drinks, but the woman cannot drive due to an impounded car and a suspended license from a DUI charge. The woman decides to drive a riding mower instead. When she runs through a stop sign, a police officer pursues her. During the slow-speed chase, the woman tries to lose the officer by driving on a lawn. The woman hits a rock and falls off the mower. Too stunned and drunk to react in time, the mower runs the woman down, shredding her in seconds.
73 Vertigo, Going, Gone (a.k.a. Allergy Treason) April 23, 1998 Louisville, KY When an ill-mannered, incompetent office worker gets fired, he vows revenge on his boss. He waits for her atop an oak tree, unaware that he's allergic to oak tree pollen. After missing the shot, the man's body goes into paralysis from his allergy and drops out of the tree, dying of a skull fracture.
440 Tea Bagged (a.k.a. Speaker Trouble) July 22, 2009 Small Town, USA A highly inexperienced female politician holds a rally to become mayor under the Tea Party ticket. In her excitement, the woman suffers a hemorrhagic stroke and collapses on the bayonet of her prop musket, which pierces her from under the chin through her brain, causing instant death.

Episode 51: Eat Pray DieEdit

Aired August 8, 2011

Title reference: Spoofs the popular movie Eat Pray Love.

Death # "Event" Name Date of Death Location Circumstances of Death
500 Ich Bin Ein Stoner (a.k.a. Witch Hunt) October 26, 1384 Cochem, Germany A medieval witch hunter goes mad after eating grains infected with ergot. The superstitious townspeople use a method that the witch hunter used on a village woman who was accused of witchcraft: pricking a mole on the accused's body (if it bled, the accused was innocent; if not, the accused was deemed a witch). The witch hunter's mole does not bleed and he is sentenced to death by stoning. The witch hunter is killed when a stone hits him in the head and cracks his skull.
449 Another Up The Butt Story (a.k.a. Buzz-Ted) August 17, 2009 Las Vegas, NV A drunk bachelor attempts to rape a stripper (who was used as a human sushi bar) at his bachelor party. The stripper pushes him onto the toilet and he leans on the flush mechanism. Abnormally high pressure in the tank causes the porcelain lid to fly onto the floor and shatter, and the bachelor slips onto a shard of porcelain, piercing his colon and intestinal tract, and causing him to bleed to death. (NOTE: This segment is otherwise known as "Bachelor Bashed")
189 Poly-Ass-Turd (a.k.a. You're Fired!) October 7, 2003 Twin Falls, ID A fraudulent self-help guru holds an outdoors seminar for people with low self-confidence, which includes a test in which the patients have to walk over a bed of hot coals. When a patient complains the coals are too hot, the guru attempts to prove them wrong and walk over them himself. However, he falls and is caught ablaze, with his polyester suit melting onto his skin causing fatal burns and dies.
79 Shoots & Ladders (a.k.a. See You Ladder) May 9, 2004 Melbourne, FL Annoyed by his neighbor's barking dog, a miser shoots it with a pellet from a slingshot. However, while putting the slingshot back in the attic, a screw falls out of the ladder he is using, and he slips, falling backward and smacking his head against the hardwood floor. He soon dies from brain damage that stops his heart and breathing.
487 E-I-E-I-Oww! (a.k.a. In Farm's Way) June 1, 2005 Pullman, WA Two delinquents are sentenced to a work release program on a farm after they got caught for grand theft auto. One of the delinquents picks up a captive bolt pistol, thinking it is a pump to a milking machine. The farmer's daughter warns him not to play with it, but he points it at her saying that he wants milk. Still thinking that it's a pump, the delinquent uses the captive bolt pistol on his own chest, piercing his heart.
769 Bush Defeated (a.k.a. Wax On, Wax Off) March 23, 1999 Nelson, VA A woman with a large amount of pubic hair decides to get rid of it by clipping, shaving, and waxing it off herself after her boyfriend refuses to have sex with her. She accidentally removes some skin in the process, allowing an infection of necrotizing fasciitis to set in and kill her two weeks later from blood poisoning and organ failure.
419 Skid Marked (a.k.a. Ghost Rider) March 12, 2006 St. Petersburg, FL A group of car thieves are practicing "ghost riding the whip" (putting the car into gear and dancing alongside it) with a stolen SUV. One of them attempts "The Circle," which involves making the car ride in a tight circle while standing atop it. The SUV hits a parking chalk, knocking the rider from the roof of the SUV. While on the ground, the SUV comes around and runs over the riders legs and breaks them. The SUV comes around and crushing his head

Episode 52: Wait, Don't Tell Me – You're DeadEdit

Aired August 15, 2011 but first appeared on Spike's website July 26.

Death # "Event" Name Date of Death Location Circumstances of Death
804 Fire In The Hole July 16, 2002 Florida State Prison A Neo-Nazi jail inmate attempts to escape by having his moronic friend get himself arrested while carrying a hand grenade in his rectum. Once in jail, the friend has trouble extracting the grenade, so the Neo-Nazi tries to get it out himself. In doing so, he pulls out the pin, setting off an explosion that kills them both. The explosion blows out the friend's guts and blows off the Neo-Nazi's face and skull.
65 Somewhere Over The Railing (a.k.a. Bagged) December 15, 2007 Durham, NC On a 24-hour-live web show, a prankster hides an airbag under a chair's seat and tries to get her friend to sit on it. The friend declines, having fallen victim to repeated pranks, and accidentally pushes the prankster onto the chair. The airbag deploys, throwing her over a stair railing; she hits the ground on her head, breaking her neck and severing her spinal cord so that she dies instantly much to the horror of the roommate.
329 Muffed Dive (a.k.a. High Die) May 13, 2003 Dubuque, IA A former Olympic diver, kicked off the national team for abusing drugs, now works as a manager at a municipal pool, where he's more interested in impressing MILFs, single cougars, and middle-aged divorcees than actually doing work. While out on a date with one of his targets, he dives into the pool but hits his head on a floating chlorine dispenser, causing death from head trauma and drowning.
328 Treadkill June 17, 2003 Birmingham, AL A voyeur spies on his hot next door neighbor and her boyfriend while exercising on his treadmill. He unknowingly increases the speed of the treadmill and falls, with his hoodie string catching on the cup holder. It tightens around his neck, cutting off blood and air from his brain so that he strangles to death.
86 Bush Whacked 2: South of the Border (a.k.a. Fire Stuck) July 29, 2007 Juarez, Mexico Two drug haulers who have stolen over $8 million worth of drugs from their drug lord attempt to hide from him in a nearby bush as he drives by. Unaware that the bush is actually Firestick, they become blind and inflamed from the acidic sap the bush secretes. The two men are forced out due to the fire stick, and without cover, the bosses's body guard shoots one bullet into both their chests. They both die instantly from bloodloss.
173 Leave it to Seizure (a.k.a. Great Seizure's Ghost) October 12, 2004 Boston, MA A stripper who pickpockets her customers has a grand mal seizure while dancing in her cage under the strobe lights. She dies when she bites the tip of her tongue off, swallows, and chokes on it.
318 Dia De Los Morons (a.k.a. Night of the Living Deadbeat) October 31, 2009 Kingsport, TN Two trick-or-treaters decide to play pranks on people by vandalizing their property and shooting each other with silly string. After one lights a bag of dog feces on fire to leave on a neighbors' doorstep, he accidentally lights the silly string on his body, which in turn ignites his polyester costume. He is quickly burned to death.

Episode 53: Death – The Gift That Lasts ForeverEdit

Aired August 22, 2011

Death # "Event" Name Date of Death Location Circumstances of Death
591 Trip to the Maul (a.k.a. Love Is Blind) September 10, 2003 Bozeman, MT A man takes his mistress into the woods to have sex to escape his wife, when suddenly, he goes blind from vasoconstriction (temporary or permanent blindness from sexual intercourse). The now-blind man runs screaming out of the tent, and runs afoul of a grizzly bear, who mauls him.
826 Gory Holed (a.k.a. Let's Bounce) October 16, 1995 Trenton, NJ A dirty old man gets Internet installed on his computer so he can go on online sex chatrooms. While on one of these chatrooms (posing as a younger man while another dirty old man poses as an eighteen-year-old blond model), the old man impatiently bounces on his computer chair while waiting for the Internet page to upload (the old man had a dial-up modem), the chair snaps out from under him. A broken piece lodges into his rectum and causes fatal bleeding.
468 Died-Zilla April 12, 2008 Middlebury, VT After snorting bath salts from her gift baskets for days on end, a cheating bride-to-be (who had previously been in rehab for a drug addiction) gets hyperthermia due to the chemical MDPV in the bath salts, and collapses at the altar.
334 U.P.F'D (a.k.a. Anthrax Attack) December 1, 2003 Olympia, WA A former mailman who was forced into early retirement now steals packages in front of peoples' houses. After stealing a box from the doorstep of a prominent judge, he opens it and gets hit in the face with anthrax that was set up on a jack-in-the-box-style mechanism. The bacteria kills the man a week later.
992 I'll Sleep When I'm Dead (a.k.a. Laid to Rest) August 22, 2002 Cleveland, OH A man suffering from fatal familial insomnia takes a night drive and accidentally hits and kills a pedestrian. After he gets home, he cleans his car and drives to a sleep clinic. Unable to be cured and frightened from hallucinating his victim's face, he lies awake for months and eventually dies of a massive stroke.
325 (Note: this is the second death given this number) Kitchen Sunk (a.k.a. Bearded) May 14, 2003 Echo Park, CA An untalented musician refuses to fix a clogged sink after being asked by his girlfriend. After his girlfriend comes back, he finally helps her. With no idea what to do, he turns on the garbage disposal. His long beard gets sucked into the disposal, pulling his face into the murky dish water, and drowning him.
460 Blast Call (a.k.a. Halfs All Folks) March 11, 2009 Chicago, IL A demolition worker short on cash for booze draws a bull's-eye on his chest and challenges anyone to chuck darts at it in exchange for free drinks. As the game continues, the man gets so drunk that he collapses and suddenly blows apart when he hits the floor. The demolition worker unknowingly had a pack of blasting caps and a stick of dynamite in his back pocket, the force of which caused the explosion.

Episode 54: Death: One Size Fits AllEdit

Aired August 29, 2011

Death # "Event" Name Date of Death Location Circumstances of Death
190 Handi-Crapped (a.k.a. Getting the Shaft) (Note: second death to be given this name.) July 24, 2001 Flint, MI A man in a mobility scooter and a neckbrace bullies other coworkers and regularly threatens to sue his company for causing his injury. One day, one of his coworkers walks in on the man taking off his neckbrace and discovers that he's been faking his injuries. The man chases after his coworker on his mobility scooter to keep her from ratting him out to his boss, but the co-worker loses him in a waiting elevator. The man plows through the elevator doors and ends up falling down the empty elevator shaft, dying of severe bodily trauma.
293 (Note: this is the second death to be given this number.) Frost-Dead (a.k.a. Freeze Died) June 3, 2002 Springfield, IL A bumbling cryopreservation engineer who has been known to inject standard anti-freeze into his clients instead of the usual preservation material to prevent freeze damage, dies after breathing in pure liquid nitrogen from a tube that had come loose from a cryogenic tank he had failed to fix.
242 Slippery When Dead (a.k.a. Sleeper-y Hold) September 1, 1998 Beaver Dam, KY A feared hot oil wrestler accepts a challenge from her rival (whom she once defeated by cheating) for a $500 cash prize. During the match, the oil wrestler beats her rival once again, but ends up dead when she slips and impales her skull on a boxing ring bell.
163 Drivers Dead March 10, 2005 Charlotte, NC A very stressed-out and impatient driver's ed teacher flusters one of his students so badly that she steps out of the car and goes to report him to his supervisor. The driver angrily pounds on the steering wheel and accidentally triggers the airbag, which deploys and hits his neck with so much force that his trachea collapses.
881 Slayer Cake (a.k.a. Heart Baker) April 13, 2006 St. Charles, MD A bakery owner fires her incompetent brother-in-law after days of putting up with his unhygienic habits and his lack of professionalism. Before the man leaves, he decorates several cakes with shocking and slanderous messages. The man then steps out, and ends up slipping and falling on his cake-decorating syringe, which lodges in his chest and pumps enough icing into his heart for the man to suffer a massive heart attack.
240 Miner Injuries March 20, 1920 Fayette, WV A greedy, apathetic mine boss yells at his workers when they tend to one of their own who has been injured, then warn the mine boss that there may be methane. The boss ignores the warning and takes a pickaxe to the side of a mine wall. The sparks cause an ignition and causes an explosion, sending rocks into the mine boss's skull.
785 My Chemical Romance (a.k.a. Trashed) August 8, 2003 Bullhead City, AZ A scamming couple posing as a toxic waste disposal company transport barrels of 2,4-Dichlorophenol at a local dump. When the boyfriend complains about dumping, his bitter girlfriend takes over and dumps the waste herself. She then trips on a discarded toilet and gets a mouthful of the toxic sludge from the barrel, filling her lungs and killing her from a combination of drowning and poisoning.

Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.

JamesTherHAMPMaster 12:30, December 5, 2012 (UTC)


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